I watch, wondering how different it could have been if he was here, raising her with me instead of running.
But that’s not a healthy thought to have.
Could we have stayed in love?
Would our love be invincible?
I feel it would have been.
“Mommy.” At her voice, I turn. Food is served and they are eating. “Can Auggie stay the night?”
I smirk at her name for him because I once called him the same thing. “Do you want to stay?”
“If it’s okay with you, maybe on the couch.”
Winter claps her hands. “We can have popcorn and watch movies and fall asleep on the couch.” I laugh because I know she will fall asleep straight after dinner. She falls into a food coma every single night.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I’ll leave as soon as I wake,” he says.
I stand, pushing my chair back, and look at him. “I’m going to have a shower. Can you make sure she brushes her teeth before you start a movie?” I ask. He nods, and I walk off into my room, shutting the door. Sliding down it, I listen to their voices talk on the other side of the door.
I can’t keep her from him, not that I would choose to. But that also means he will be back in my life, and not in any way that I always thought he would be.
“Auggie.” I hear her giggle at him, and I smile. As long as she is happy, I am happy.
I am.
I really am.
If I say it enough, maybe it will etch into my brain.
Standing, I jump into the shower and quickly wash, then get out. Tying my hair back and throwing on my nightgown, I step out to find them both on the couch, Winter’s eyes closed, snug in his arms. I go through and tidy up quietly before I switch all the lights off and turn the television down for them to sleep.
“Rylee.”
I turn to see August watching me. “Yes?” I ask, my heart rate picking up.
His eyes drink me in from top to bottom and then he shakes his head. “Never mind.” His hair is a mess, and he is fully clothed as Winter sleeps peacefully next to him.
“She has asked about you,” I tell him. “I told her you would be back, and one day she could meet you.”
“And what if I never came back?” he asks.
I shrug. “I would have let her find you in her own time.” I turn and head back to my room. “Goodnight, August.” I shut my bedroom door behind me and crawl into bed, pulling the covers up over my face and silently scream into them.
August left as soon as I was up the next morning. Beckham came around not long after and wanted to spend a few hours with Winter while I did my grocery shopping. I couldn’t say no. He’s been missing her, and by the way her arms constricted around him, I would say it’s been the same for her. I watch as they go off to get ice cream while I walk into the grocery store. As I grab a few things, I look up to see someone I haven’t seen in a long time. Walking over to her, she doesn’t notice me until I am standing next to her.
“Jacinta?” I ask. She turns, her face full of fear until she sees it’s me. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since I took you to the hospital. I heard you had a healthy baby, congrats.”
“Yes, Oliver. He’s just wonderful.”
I smile at her. “I have a daughter now. Are you visiting or just passing through?”
Her eyes skirt around. “I moved back.”
“Oh, good, that’s great news.”
“Look…” She pauses. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”
“Umm, what do you mean?” I ask, clearly confused.
“I changed my name a while back, so he couldn’t find me,” she says, referring to Anderson. “I’m Mary.” Her face remains carefully blank.
I look at her, confusion creasing my brows until it clicks.
August.
Mary.
I flick my eyes to her hand to see the ring sitting on it. A band that matches his.
“Um…”
“I’m sorry. I assumed he was going to tell you.”
I step back, putting some distance between us. “Look, I have to go.” I put my basket full of my food on the floor and turn to walk out. I hear her call my name and have a déjà vu moment.
Haven’t we been down this road before?
As soon as I’m out of the store, I pull my phone from my pocket and call him.
August picks up after the second ring.
“Mary…” I say with a shake of my head, “… is Jacinta. Really, August?” I pause, then scream, “Really!” I hang up and sit in my car as I watch Beckham walk over with a pleased Winter in his arms and an ice cream I know she won’t finish. My phone starts buzzing, but I don’t answer, knowing it’s him.