“Ry.” My eyes lock with Rhianna’s at the serious tone of her voice. “Do you miss him?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say with a sad smile.
“I think he misses you more,” Noah chimes in, looking away. When he does, I narrow my eyes at him.
“What is it?” I ask him.
He leans down and puts his face in Rhianna’s neck as if he’s trying to avoid telling us.
She pulls away and turns to face him. “What aren’t you saying?” she asks.
Noah scratches his cheek, then says, “He’s here. For tonight only.”
My heart rate picks up to a speed I’m not sure is right for me. “What?” I shriek in disbelief. How long has it been since I’ve seen him? Two months? I stopped counting after thirty days. It was too torturous for me to keep tally.
“Glenn needed his help, so he came back,” he says with a shrug.
“Ry.” Rhianna reaches out, and when she touches me, I see a soft smile on her face. “Think about it. Do you want to see him if he’s only here for one night?”
Yes. The answer will always be yes.
“Noah, you should tell her where he is.”
“He asked me not to.”
“I’m asking you then. Where is he?” Rhianna asks, crossing her arms over her chest. He groans at her and checks his watch.
“He should be finished at Glenn’s by now. He was staying at his place until he left again.”
Again.
He planned to come in and then leave without so much as a word.
It’s unfair, really. How can he feel that’s okay, and it tears me to shreds to even think that? I could never do that to him.
Grabbing my keys, I leave everything else and go back to his place. He would have known I was there earlier since I rang him, and he answered. Why didn’t he tell me to wait? I would have remained just to see him.
“Noah, walk her out.” I only just hear Rhianna bark her command as I leave her and Noah behind me.
“Don’t tell him I’m coming,” I say as we get outside. Noah quickly surveys the area to make sure Anderson isn’t here and nods.
“You weren’t going to tell me, were you?” I ask him.
“No. It’s unfair to both of you to keep seeing each other when you both know he should be gone,” he says.
“That’s not up to you to decide,” I bite back.
“No. But think of the issues it will cause. Especially with Beckham.”
Beckham.
He’s only just started talking to me again, and losing him would kill me, as I’m sure it killed August to lose his sister. But August has no one. He’s never had anyone his whole life to stand by him and let him know that he is loved.
Yes, I love him.
“He’s only here for a night,” I say back to Noah.
“Sometimes a night turns into longer,” he says, thoughtfully. “Just be careful. You were hurt when he left the first time. Imagine how it will be a second time.” He turns and walks back to the door but waits for me to get in the car and start it before he heads inside.
I shouldn’t go.
I should stay home and crawl into bed and let him enter my dreams instead.
In them, we are safe.
In them, he doesn’t break my heart and shatter it into a million pieces with just a few single words.
I should turn around.
But I won’t.
I know I won’t.
Chapter 9
August
Glenn is a mess, even if he resumes his day-to-day as if he is okay. He isn’t. His house tells you so. He called me to help him clear out some of Paige’s things. He couldn’t do it by himself. He said he tried, and all that happened was he ended up seeing the bottom of a bottle.
I couldn’t say no, even if I told myself I would never come back here. I had to.
“This is…” Glenn shakes his head and pours himself another drink. He offers me one, but I decline. “It won’t get easier, you know. I still go to call her at night when she’s pushing curfew. Then…” he trails off. I know what he means. “Anyway, thanks for the help. She really did love you.”
“You raised her right, Glenn. You took her away from that place,” I tell him, trying to give him comfort. I don’t have much experience with comforting others, but the truth always works best for me.
“I should have taken you too. I knew how you were treated. Maybe if I did—”
“I’m fine. I’ll always be fine,” I tell him.
“You killed those men. I know you did.”
I don’t confirm it. There is no need for me to.
“And a part of me thanks you for that.” He chugs his drink and pours himself another one.
“I should get going,” I say, grabbing my helmet.
Glenn holds up something and offers it to me. “Take it. It was by her nightstand.” I lean forward and take the small frame, and in it is a picture of Paige and me. I nod, not able to find the words of gratitude as I leave his house.