That fucking kiss, though. Fucking man alive, it shot adrenaline straight to my heart. It took me to eleven out of ten. Her lips, her taste, just her fucking presence in that kiss...
She didn’t kiss me with some fucking shy little peck.
Hell no, she put her soul into it.
And the way she pressed her body right back against mine, clinging to me in desperate need of something I barely understand…
It was like offering a life raft to a drowning man.
Fuck, my life is spiraling out of any semblance of control. Casey, Bree, me. Three huge new developments. Myself, being probably the biggest.
I can feel the cravings, the yearnings, and delusions starting. The deep, dark part of me wants to go back into a bottle. It would sure as fuck be easier to let myself slip back into that eventual suicide of the mind and body
Fuck the world.
Fuck the kid.
And fuck any chance at romance.
But there’s another part of me that’s slowly waking back up and calling that dark part of me a little bitch. It’s telling me I need to do better. I need to stop being a fucking pussy. That I’m not finished, and I’m not ready to tap the fuck out yet.
I’ll be that guardian for Casey.
I’ll be the champion Bree needs.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit the darker part of my soul doesn’t have a stronger grip on me right now.
Shaking my head, I retrace my steps back to Casey. We need to pack it up and get out of here. Shit’s going to be rough for us as we figure out how to get past Tommy’s ghost and my failings as a decent human being. Maybe it’s not the ghost we need to get past, but maybe it’s the one we have to come to terms with.
“You know you’ll be taking a couple of physicals and drug tests over the next couple of months. Probably the sooner the better,” a voice says from behind me.
Dammit. Yet another person I know that has seen the shit side of me.
Turning around, I slow my walk to a stop. “Hey Avery, I wasn’t…”
“Chase has his own big brother hang-ups that he has to deal with. Big muscles and big brains don’t always agree with each other,” she says with a laugh before holding up a hand to stop my protesting. “I’m more of a Friar Lawrence type of person, not the overbearing parents and cousins…”
What the fuck? Was that a Romeo and Juliet reference?
“Um…” is about the only word I can get out of my mouth.
“Don’t worry. Mum’s the word on you two needing to get a room,” she says with an exaggerated wink.
Ah, shit.
“Avery…” I say, and I feel this need to protect what has just started between Bree and me.
My hackles are raising at just the thought of us having any sort of interference.
I’m not ashamed though of what she saw or Casey. It wasn’t what I would have liked to do in public, but it is what it is. I’ve never felt anything like that before. Ever.
Fuck, I’ve never straight up
practically made love to a woman through just one kiss. Especially on the first day we meet. That’s never fucking happened to me before.
That was some serious me, Tarzan, you, Jane, let’s go back to the cave and mate for life shit right there.
Avery takes my arm and pulls me slowly to the side of the gym. “Relax, Emmett. I just want to honestly talk to you about Casey before you get in too far over your head.”