And when she passed, I guess he just completely gave up…
He’s completely checked out.
In a way, her death broke all of us.
Sighing, I shake my head and walk up to the couch, pulling the crocheted blanket off the top of it. Walking up to Herb, I slide the empty bottle out of his hand and then cover him with the blanket.
I want to be angry with him, I really do, but I just can’t. I understand his pain. I understand why he’s doing this…
Tucking the blanket around him, I make sure he’s completely covered up and then take a step back.
He’s so drunk he doesn’t stir.
Does he even know I haven’t been home in three days?
Probably not, I think as I turn around and head for my bedroom. He probably doesn’t even know what day it is.
The door to my room is cracked open. I push it all the way open and flip on the light. My room is a complete wreck. It looks like Travis has been going through my stuff and tossed it.
My mattress hangs off the box spring, crooked, and the sheets have been torn off. My closet door is wide open and all the shoeboxes I use to store my keepsakes and photos have been dumped out.
What was he looking for? I wonder as I step over my shoes and books. I have to watch where I’m going so I don’t fall and break my neck.
I reach my dresser and notice the drawer I keep all my panties and bras in is half empty.
What the fuck?
I grab what’s left and stuff it in my backpack.
Carefully, I make my way over to my closet and squat down. He left all the pictures I have left of my mom on the floor like he doesn’t give a fuck.
Seeing them left there like they’re trash makes me so angry I could cry. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath.
It’s not enough that he’s destroyed my life, he has to also destroy what few possessions that mean the world to me.
Fighting back tears, I carefully pick the pictures up.
As much as I want to I can’t take all the pictures with me so I pick out my favorite two to keep and the stack the rest up. I refill the boxes and tuck them into the back of the closet.
I will be back for them after I find a permanent place to live.
Grabbing some of the clothes piled around me, I stuff my backpack with everything that will fit, then pile the rest on top of the boxes to hide them.
Fuck Travis. Seriously, just fuck him.
I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for this.
Getting to my feet, I check the time. I’ve only been in here for thirty minutes or so. I doubt Travis will be back anytime soon, he’ll probably be gone for hours.
I look longingly towards my bed. I’d sleep but I can’t risk it. I’m so tired after my ten hour shift I’m not sure I could just nap.
For the past three days, I’ve been staying with my best friend, Nicole, at her mom’s house and picking up extra shifts at work.
Unfortunately, Nicole’s parents are divorced, and because she hasn’t turned eighteen yet she still has to spend every other weekend at her dad’s place upstate. I can’t stay at her dad’s house so I’m on my own until she gets back.
Thankfully, I have just enough cash from the extra hours I picked up at Burger Bells to get a hotel room for the weekend, so that’s the plan.
I might not be able to sleep here but it would be nice to take shower before I head out to the hotel. I’m covered in burger grease and reek of onions. If I’m going to change out of my uniform, I might as well get clean before I put fresh clothes on.
Grabbing a clean change of clothes, I head to the bathroom in the hall. Travis and I have always had to share this bathroom but at least in here it doesn’t look like he’s messed with my stuff. My shampoo, conditioner and razor are right where I left them.
I strip out of my dirty uniform, turn the shower on and jump in. It’s been such a long day, for the longest time I just stand under the hot spray and let the heat sink into my skin.
My muscles tensed up, I feel myself start to relax.
My situation sucks right now, but all is not lost. Tonight, I’ll have a roof over my head.
Picking up my body wash, I lather up my legs and shave them.
In a few weeks, I’ll probably have my own place and I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed again.
This will all work out.
I just can’t let myself focus on the negatives.