“No, I don’t think so. We could ask, but it would be just another thing for him to use against me.”
“Well… I still don’t like it.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Grace
I’m actually a little glad Max can’t be with me when it’s time to drop Hope off with Carson. Besides the obvious fact that Max hates Carson’s guts, Carson would probably take it as a threat or something and cause a scene in front of Hope.
I wish more than anything I could spare her from all of this. I wish her father could actually put her first instead of being a selfish asshole. I know she has to suspect something is up. She’s four but she’s certainly not stupid. Right now, though, she’s just sitting in the back quietly. Too quietly for her.
Driving her to Carson’s house is killing me inside. Every mommy instinct inside of my body is telling me this isn’t right; she won’t be safe. But my hands are tied. If I don’t fulfill my side of the custody agreement, he could use it against me to take her from me. The lawyer we met with the other day was very clear that I need to continue to honor our agreement and not give him any valid reasons for coming after me.
We could run away… the thought has crossed my mind. But we would be on the run for the rest of our lives, and we’d have to leave everyone we love behind. I don’t think I could run away from my parents or from Max, especially because it’s possible I could be carrying his baby.
“Want me to get out with you?” Mandy asks as I pull up into Carson’s driveway.
I shake my head immediately and sigh. “No, it’s probably best you stay in the car. This should only take a minute.”
Mandy nods and pats me o
n the hand reassuringly.
I turn and glance at Hope in the backseat. “Ready, honey?”
Her lips purse into a pout and her chin drops as she glares back at me.
She made it very clear this morning she didn’t want to come to Carson’s, she wanted to stay with Max. She knows he’s going to have to his big fight tomorrow and she is convinced he needs her.
She’s probably right. The two of them are kindred spirits, which is hilarious in a way. There’s been more than once since we’ve moved in that I felt like the odd man out. And you know what? I don’t even mind. I couldn’t be more thrilled that the two of them care about each other so much. It just makes it that much easier for me to love them both.
Sighing again, I push open my door and climb out of the car. Glancing towards the house I see Carson standing on his front porch, waiting.
Opening Hope’s door, I have to unbuckle her and try to nudge her out of her booster seat.
“It’s just for the weekend….” I whisper softly.
“I don’t want to.”
“Your father misses you and wants to spend time with you.”
“Carson isn’t my father.”
“Honey…”
“I want Bear.”
Stepping back, I just want to throw my hands in the air. I don’t even know how to placate her because I don’t like the situation either, and I really don’t want to drop her off and leave her here.
“Is something wrong?” Carson asks coming up behind me.
Great, just what I need. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at him. Exhaling slowly through my nose, I shake my head. “Hope doesn’t want to get out of the car.”
Carson peeks inside the car and says coldly, “Come along, Hope. You know I hate to be kept waiting.”
Hope glances worriedly towards me and then she’s scrambling to get out of the car.
Something about it just doesn’t sit right with me.