“I bought my own.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, it’s hooked up in my backseat.”
Picking up the booster seat, Carson jumps forward and grabs it from my hand. “Here, let me get that for you.”
I have to take a step back as he hooks it back up in my backseat for me and then there’s this sudden awkwardness between us when he’s done.
“Thank you,” I finally say, breaking the silence. Glancing down at my phone, I check the time. “I should probably get going…”
“You wanna come inside for a little bit?” Carson asks.
I shake my head and bend down, opening my arms for Hope. “May I have a hug before I leave?”
Hope steps into my arms and hugs me like she never wants to let go. I practically have to pry her little arms off of me after kissing her on the head goodbye.
Carson tells her to, “Go in the house. I’ll be there in a minute. I need to talk to your mommy.”
Hope looks to me, seeking my permission. I nod my head and straighten. She spins on her heel and takes off running.
Once she’s inside, Carson takes a step towards me and I brace myself.
“What do you have planned this weekend?” he tries to ask casually but there’s this angry glint in his eyes.
I shrug. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Going to meet up with your MMA thug?”
I look him dead in the eye. There’s no use beating around the bush on this, I don’t want him to think I’m leading him on or something. “Probably.”
His nostrils flare and his jaw tenses. I know he wants to say something but he’s restraining himself.
I decide to do exactly what Hope did and give him my back. Opening my car door, I toss him a quick wave and then slide inside. He just stands there, in the driveway, watching me as I back out.
There’s something about it that’s very creepy.
If there wasn’t a court order, and I knew it wouldn’t make things worse, I’d stop the car, grab Hope and take her with me.
* * *
“Are you okay?” Max asks me over the lovely dinner he cooked for us.
I tell him I am but he gives me a look like he knows I’m lying.
I don’t want to ruin our first weekend together but I’m bothered about leaving Hope with Carson. After our “date” Sunday I don’t fucking trust him, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t just go to a judge and ask him to break the custody agreement because her father wants to get back together and he’s giving me the creeps.
Carson has every right to have access to his daughter. And for the longest time I was so for it, I so wanted him to be there for her… until now. Now I just get the feeling I’ve been wasting my time trying to mold him into the man I wanted him to be. I’ve been totally refusing to face reality.
When you add up all the stuff Hope has told me with all the stuff I already know—him not wanting her to call him daddy, him not feeding her breakfast, him constantly dropping her off early, him not even wanting to have a booster seat in his car for her, him getting angry and grabbing me… It all equals up to one thing—Carson is an asshole.
And I have to hand my little girl over to him every other weekend. If I don’t, if I fail to follow the terms of our custody agreement, I risk losing her to him completely.
“Come here,” Max growls and scoots his chair back from the table.
Standing up, I walk around his kitchen table and sit down on his lap. His arms wrap around me and he nuzzles his fuzzy face into my neck. Lips kissing me, I melt against him. It’s impossible not to relax into his touch.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.