Chapter Ten
Mandy
I was ready to punch my V-card, and I was certain I wanted to do it with Brett. The situation couldn’t have set up more perfectly for me. Brett’s parents were heading out of town for their wedding anniversary so Brett asked me to stay the weekend with him. I told my parents I was going to spend the weekend with Grace, and like a good friend she was covering for me. The only thing I didn’t account for, because there was no way I could have seen it coming, was my parents deciding to end their own marriage.
I knew something was up while I was packing up a few things in an overnight bag. I was upstairs in my room and all of a sudden I heard my mother screaming.
“This is all your fault! You made me do this.”
Thinking something was wrong, that perhaps someone had broken in or something, I dropped my bag and ran out into the hall. I stopped at the top of the staircase, however, when I heard my father bellow out.
“My fault? It’s my fault you’re sleeping with my best friend?”
I gasped and grabbed onto the railing for dear life. My mother slept with my father’s best friend, Grant? What was going on?
“Yes,” my mother screamed back. “It’s your fault. All of this is. You ruined my fucking life.”
“I didn’t ruin your life! I gave you everything. Everything! I married you. I gave you a house. I’ve given you the best life I can give. I never asked you to work. Anything you’ve asked for I’ve given without question. How is this my fault?”
“What you’ve given me has all been done out of guilt.”
“I have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“And that’s why I can no longer do this. That’s why I’ve decided I’m done with this fucking sham.”
“What sham?” my father asked more quietly.
I felt guilty for listening in. There was so much pain in my father’s voice.
“Our marriage. It’s all been a sham. Just a means to alleviate your shame.”
“I have no shame,” my father said with quiet conviction.
“You should!” my mother screamed and a moment later something crashed into the wall and I slapped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming in surprise. “You ruined my life. You ruined me.”
“How did I ruin you, Kitty? I didn’t push you into Grant’s arms. I didn’t spread your fucking legs for him!”
“You might as well have when you fucked me in the back of your car.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
My father may have not realized it at first but I knew instantly. It was like my mother just took a stake to my heart. She was blaming it on my father because of me. Me. Her mistake. In her mind I was her ruin, and even though logically I knew I didn’t ask to be born, it still fucking hurt. Like a motherfucker.
The tears came unbidden, unwanted, but still they came. I ran back to my room, grabbed my bag and my phone. I wasn’t sure if I had packed everything I needed but it didn’t matter. I just had to get out of there before another bombshell dropped.
“Please Kitty, we can work this out,” I heard my father say desperately as I raced out of my room.
“I don’t think so, John. I’ve let you hold me back for long enough.”
I rushed down the stairs like a bat out of hell, slamming the front door behind me. I couldn’t listen anymore. I couldn’t hear my mother screech and cry about being forced into early motherhood. And I couldn’t listen to my father ask her to stay as if he was a sucker for punishment.
I started to walk down the sidewalk of my street. It was still early; I don’t think it was even four o’clock yet. The street was still mostly quiet. I was grateful there was no one around to see me. I had to wipe my eyes several times to read the letters on my phone. Damn tears kept blurring my vision.
Before I could dial Brett’s number, I heard my father calling out to me. I wiped my eyes and spun on my heel, dropping my bag to the ground. I had just reached the corner.
“Amanda, please come back,” my father called out to me. “Where are you going?”
I shook my head back at him. “I’m heading to Grace’s for the weekend. Remember?”