Funny, Chase’s number is listed just above Ethan’s. My thumb hovers over Chase’s name. I wonder what he’s doing. What does he do when he’s not beating someone to a pulp? Hmm.
Ethan is pretty familiar with my schedule now. Sometimes after class we’d meet up before I went to work and eat lunch or hang out. So it’s not surprising at all that just before I slide my thumb down to press his name my phone starts ringing.
“Hey,” I say, lifting the phone to my ear as I walk through the building’s double doors and out into the courtyard.
“Out of class?” Ethan asks.
“You know I am.”
“Cool. I’m just around the corner.”
I glance up and look to the front curb, past all the benches and bushes. Sure enough Ethan’s red little coupe rounds the corner and parks. The passenger door swings open and Ethan leans over the seat, waving at me.
I click my phone off, sigh and shove it in my pocket. There’s no avoiding this now.
“Hey,” I say slipping my backpack off my shoulder and sliding into the car.
I close the door then drop my backpack to the floor. Just as I click in my seat belt, I have to take a deep breath.
I’ve done this so many times before, it feels so normal, so comfortable. Just like an old shoe. Perhaps this was a mistake. Perhaps I shouldn’t have felt like I had to get in the car because he was already here. I should have told Ethan to meet me somewhere later.
I don’t want to give him the impression that’s nothing changed between us.
“Hey,” Ethan smiles at me as if nothing’s wrong, nothing’s changed. He shifts the car into gear and we zoom forward. “How was class?”
Honestly, I wouldn’t know how class was. I was too busy thinking about other stuff. I shrug my shoulders, “It was class.”
Ethan nods as if he understands. I’m not sure if he’s even stepped foot in a college. Since Ethan graduated from high school, he’s taken on the role of Regional Manager with Glier’s Electronics. He’s already confessed to me that he’s Regional Manager in title only. He actually does very little work. It’s simply a position for him to fill until the day he inherits the entire business from his father.
An uncomfortable silence falls between us. I don’t know what to say. I feel uneasy trying to broach the topic of what happened here, secluded with him in the car. If I piss him off again, which given how much he’s changed I wouldn’t put it past him, there’s no one around to help.
So I press my lips together and stare out the window, deciding its best not to say anything at all. I take comfort in watching the familiar scenery flow past as he drives us to our usual lunch spot.
At least he’s not pushing it and driving me back to his house.
Once we pull up to Brian’s Burger Shack, Ethan throws the car in park and jumps out. I grab my backpack, any other time I’d just leave it on the floor, and exit the car.
Ethan frowns as I slip my backpack over my shoulder but otherwise doesn’t say anything as we walk into the restaurant. We find our usual booth in the back. The waitress appears and Ethan even gives her our usual order.
I slump in my seat and just let him do it. This all feels way too messed up.
It’s not until the waitress sets our cokes on the table and disappears that Ethan finally speaks. “Look Avery, I’m really sorry about what happened.”
I just look at him. Does he just expect me to forgive him? By how soft his baby blues have gone, I kind of get the impression that he does.
When I don’t say anything, Ethan licks his lips nervously and goes on, “I shouldn’t have pushed you into the wall.”
I nod my head in agreement. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I feel like shit,” he admits. “You didn’t deserve it.”
“I didn’t.”
Suddenly Chase’s voice fills my head. No man should ever hurt a woman.
“I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never lost before,” Ethan frowns. “I reacted poorly. I’ll never forgive myself for taking it out on you.”
If we weren’t friends for so long, I’d just wash my hands of Ethan and write him off as a total dirt bag. But I thought, given everything he’s done for me, I owe him the chance to apologize to me. He’s never hit me before, he’s never before been so aggressive. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.