This was it.
“Time to meet your daddy, sweet pea.”
Tessa stepped onto the back patio to find Cash standing beside one of the bright rockers she’d found at a thrift store and repainted. He was furiously texting and cursing under his breath—until she shut the back door. Then he stopped and pocketed his phone.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. Just—” He shook his head. “Annoying people. Not important.” Then he turned his attention on Hallie. “This is who I’m here to meet. Wow, she’s gorgeous.”
“She really is.”
“Look at her…” he said with wonder. “She has my hair, but she has your eyes.”
“Yeah.” Tessa smiled fondly. “It’s so interesting to look at her and see parts of us both. And it’s more pronounced every day.”
Hallie stared at Cash. Then she fell silent, frowned, and buried her face in Tessa’s shoulder.
“She’s barely awake. And she’s a little shy with strangers,” she explained, patting the baby’s back.
“I understand. Hell—I mean, heck—I’m not too good with strangers, either.”
Tessa carried Hallie to the bright pink rocker, leaving the turquoise one to Cash. They both sat, and he watched with wonder as Hallie started to eat.
“She looks healthy.”
“She’s still a little underweight for her age, but the pediatrician isn’t worried.”
“Good.” Cash just stared at Hallie as if she was the most amazing being on the planet. “Tell me everything about her.”
Tessa hit the high points, talking about Hallie’s birth, her first few days home, the long weeks she had her days and nights mixed up, and the difficulty of putting her in daycare when Tessa’s heart had urged her to stay home with her beautiful baby girl.
“You’ve done amazing by yourself. I can’t imagine how difficult all that was and you just…did it.”
“I had to.”
He nodded. “And I was a coward.”
“You’re Peter Pan,” she corrected. “I don’t think you’re afraid of difficulty or hard work. It’s that you never wanted to grow up.”
“You’re right. And rehab has given me new perspective. Now I am grown up. I want to stand on my own two feet.” He shook his head. “I never want to feel like a ridiculous screwup again. It’s a shame I refuse to repeat.”
Maybe he meant that. Maybe the difficulty of overcoming his addiction to alcohol had fundamentally changed the way he viewed himself and life. And maybe he was blowing smoke up her ass.
When Hallie had finished with her bottle, Tessa set it on the table beside her and sat Hallie on her knee, bouncing her and making happy baby noises.
“You’re a natural.”
“When you’re a parent, you have to be.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He let out a breath. “Can I hold her?”
Instinctively, she pulled her daughter closer. “I don’t know if either of us is ready for that.”
Cash pressed his lips together. She was sorry if her answer upset him, but she had to be practical.
“I get it.” He sent her a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t like it, but I get it.”
They made small talk for another few minutes, but Hallie got cranky in the heat. Even with the ceiling fan on high, Cash started sweating, and Tessa felt as if she needed another shower.
She stood. “I should take Hallie in.”
He followed suit, rising from the rocker. “I understand. I wouldn’t want her to overheat or anything.”
“Exactly.”
“Can I see her tomorrow?”
“I have to work.”
“Right. I know. I just thought afterward… Maybe if I brought some dinner, we could eat it together?”
Tessa gnawed on her lip. On the one hand, it was hard not to still feel angry at him. On the other, if she was angry with him for running out on her when she’d needed help, pushing him away now that he was willing to pitch in seemed counterintuitive.
She sighed. “All right. Six o’clock?”
“Perfect.” He smiled like he’d just won the lottery. “Fried chicken okay?”
Tessa shouldn’t. Since she was no longer nursing, it seemed as if she had to watch every calorie to maintain her weight, but he knew this great little hole-in-the-wall that made amazing Southern food, and it had been so long… “You’re on.”
“I knew you couldn’t say no to that.” He took her hand and a half a step toward her, into her personal space. “And I intend to keep doing all the right things because I don’t want you to keep saying no to us being a family.”
“Cash, I don’t think—”
“I know what you’re going to say. It’s too soon. I’m moving too fast. You’re not sure you can trust me yet. I get it. But I want you to think about it.”
“Think about what exactly?”
“Well, if we’re going to be full-time parents to Hallie, so she’ll always know life with a mom and a dad and a happy home, we should move in together.”
Tessa gaped. She’d ask if Cash was crazy, but his expression told her he was dead serious.
Holy cow.
When she opened her mouth to refute him, he shook his head. “Don’t say anything now, babe. Just think about it. And give me some time to prove I’ll be the best dad—and man—ever.”