I remember once going to a friend’s house and being told that the turkey walking around in her backyard was the turkey that they would be eating for thanksgiving. I went outside and stared at it. It spared me a glance before it went back to diligently scratching the ground for worms. It had absolutely no idea its death was imminent.
For some bizarre reason the girl reminds me of the turkey. I wonder what she is doing now.
My thoughts turn to Rocco’s parents. There was more than a hint of something very odd, downright strange, about them. Both of them. If Rocco’s sister had not introduced them as his parents, in his presence, I would never have believed it. Their friendliness was false, and they appeared so removed from their son. There was definitely no love there. In fact, I detected impatience and resentment. It was as if he was doing something they found despicable or beneath them.
It makes me wonder if Rocco seems so despairing and lonely because of his family. I think of all the things he did to me during the night. Even now just thinking about it makes my body begin to throb. Quickly, I move my thoughts away and try to figure out what Rocco’s secret might be. Why would his sister want to poison me? Did they not want me in their family? Was it because I clearly wasn’t high born, one of them? I remember the mother’s eyes. The way they had raked over me, assessing and hostile. I remember Zelena telling me to beware of his family. That they were dangerous.
As I lie there listening to Sam’s even, peaceful breathing a plausible scenario forms in my head. Rocco is bound by some family tradition. He cannot choose his own bride. He cannot offer me anything but a quick fling and that is why he was so insistent I knew about it before we slept together. He was trying to be fair to me. He didn’t want to cheat me.
Figuring out his secret doesn’t make me feel any better. It actually makes me feel really sad. I always knew I couldn’t have him for real, but it was nice pretending that he could be.
Next to me, Sam stirs. I turn my head and watch her eyes open.
“Autumn,” she whispers.
I smile softly at her. Thank god, I have her.
She rubs her eyes. “Wow, you were right. I feel really, really amazing.”
My smile turns into a grin. “Told you. I took it last night, never slept a wink, and I don’t feel tired or sleepy even now.”
“What kind of herbs are those?” she asks curiously.
“No idea. Rocco gave them to me and I was too busy with other things to ask.”
She curls her body towards me, and puts her hands under her cheek. “I bet you were too busy to worry about herbs. Did you use the two condoms?”
“Yup.”
“Well, well, the virgin becomes a woman. Come on then, tell me everything.”
So I tell her. I tell her about the amazing sex. Then I tell her about my plausible scenario theory about his family. Reluctantly, she agrees with my guess. She links her fingers with mine and tells me not to worry or give up hope. She believes Rocco will stand by me. She believes given enough time Rocco will fall in love with me and he will not forsake me.
After that we get ready, have breakfast, and go out into the freezing smoky Big Apple. There is so much to see and do before we fly back to our separate destinations. We eat hotdogs, we laugh, we take a million photos, we talk to strangers.
I cry at the airport. I don’t know why I cry.
She hugs me tightly. “Stop being such a wuss. I’m just a phone call away.”
“I know. I’m just going to miss you.”
“Love you, Autumn. Love you so much.”
I’m so choked with emotion I can’t even say the words back to her.
The last call for her flight comes through the loudspeaker system.
“That’s me,” she says brightly. “Send me a text when you land.”
I stand there watching her walk away, her red curls bouncing recklessly. I don’t know why I feel so sad to let her go, maybe it is because of my insecure situation with Rocco.
My voice comes back and I shout out, “I love you, Sam.”
She stops, turns around, and blows a kiss at me. Then the crowd swallows her.
Chapter 46
Autumn
The next day I go back to work and other than the lovely surprise of the new car Rocco bought for me, life settles back seamlessly into its old pattern. Brianna from the bakery comes in for a chat with some doughnuts and coffee. She ends up buying a small garden sculpture of a fairy. After she leaves, I clear up the mess. As I wipe down the table Sam calls.