I need to see you. My text to Cody remains unsent even though he’s back in town and so am I. But we haven’t seen each other. I spent two days at home before forcing my way back into the office at work.
Claire only agreed because I promised I had no intention of doing anything but paperwork.
There’s always plenty of that to do, was her answer.
It wasn’t a yes and it wasn’t a no. So here I stand, in my office staring between the piles of cases that need to be sorted and filed electronically and my empty cup of coffee. Aaron is technically in charge of these tasks, but I’m grateful to simply be doing something and he’s grateful for the help.
If I told a younger version of myself who thrived on working in the field that I’d be hiding behind files in a silent office for days on end because of PR pressure … I would have snorted the most disbelieving laugh followed by a quick, “Fucking hell I will.”
Reality is a bitter pill to swallow sometimes.
The rap of a quick knock at the door is a pleasant distraction. “It’s open.”
Claire’s gaze moves from me to the stack of folders over a foot high and the open cardboard filing box. “You busy?” As she asks, her smile quirks up and her left brow raises comically.
“I think I need another coffee before I dive into the next stack,” I comment offhandedly. “You have something for me?”
At my question, she makes her way into my office, closing the door behind her with a soft click.
“Just checking on you.”
With my head down, moving several folders from one pile to the next, I peek up at her and her dark gray skirt suit before answering. “I don’t need checking on.”
“Of course you do.” My motion pauses in the air, a manila folder in my clutches before she adds, “We all do.”
I’ve been an honor roll student, salutatorian, and been given every kind of overachiever trophy a person can be awarded. I don’t like the idea of being someone who needs to be “checked up on.”
“I’m good. Almost through with this stack and then it’ll be ready for Aaron to put in the system and be digital.” My statement is practically robotic if not for the dismissive tone.
Crossing her arms, Claire leans back, one heel up and braced against the closed door. “Shaw is clumsy and Tanner struggles to read the jury.”
The huff that comes from my lips brings a smirk with it when she adds, “They’re too green and I want a string of cases to go our way. I might’ve managed an article with the Journal but it’s on hold until we have a series of verdicts go our way.”
“Running defense?” I question her, hating that she spent any time at all to combat the article that ran last week.
“I’m doing what has to be done. We need you in there.”
Silence weighs heavy on my shoulders. I can’t remember the last time I went this long without preparing to go before a judge. I haven’t even gone to Bar 44 or seen anyone other than Aaron and Claire since the article hit.
“Everyone goes through it,” Claire speaks up as if reading my mind. “Shake it off and meet me in the boardroom. I’m not giving this case to one of them to fuck up. Nail it and we’ll ring it out for all it’s worth. As far as I’m concerned, the investigation has been conducted and we found nothing.”
“What are we looking at? Case wise?”
“Double homicide,” she says. Her answer is spoken easily enough and with the glimmer of a challenge in her eyes, a fire lights inside of me.
This is why I do what I do. I put the bad men behind bars. Some people claim we’re only here to show the evidence. That there’s no desire or intention to punish.
Fuck that.
“You need this,” Claire claims and I nod.
“I need it more than you know.” I let the truth slip out firmer than I would have liked.
“How’s your mother?” Her question comes with an assumption that I need the case as a distraction. She’s not wrong.
“She’ll be all right. Just tumbled down the stairs and hurt herself pretty bad.” Even to my own ears, the statement is spoken without any emotion. Inside, turmoil spreads, disgust even because I don’t tell her what I really think. Sucking in a breath and letting it out in one go, I stare down at my boss in her typical professional attire and tell her I’ll be there, abruptly ending the conversation.
I’m busy making sure I put the files back in the correct boxes and email Sarah an update when Cody messages me.
I need you tonight.
That’s when I see the message I never sent him, still waiting: I need to see you.