“You think I don’t know that?”
“Then why didn’t you tell me? I had to hear it from her!” I jab a finger in the direction of the foyer—the scene of the crime, where Sebastian’s past pulled the rug out from under me yet again.
“After everything we shared—” My voice cracks as memories of the last few weeks flip through my head. I gave him my body, my soul, my everything, and he couldn’t even give me the truth. “Why?”
“I didn’t want to end our time together like this.”
I shake my head, prepared to dig deeper. “It’s more than that.”
With a scowl, he leans forward, elbows on his knees. “I lost my shit, okay? When I found you on the dance floor with him…” He juts his chin with an undercurrent of bravado that doesn’t match his words. “I didn’t want to be the one to hurt you, again. Is that what you want to hear?”
It’s Sebastian’s go-to; the defensive scorn he wears like cheap armor.
I refuse to give him the fight he wants. “Is she keeping the baby?” I ask, bypassing the issue of Liam Castle, because my relationship with the chancellor doesn’t impact the truth.
And the truth is, Sebastian is as much a coward as Liam when it comes to telling me harsh realities.
Sebastian nods. “She’s against abortion.”
“Are you sure it’s yours?”
A tick goes off in his jaw. “Lilith is a lot of things, but she’s not a liar.”
Maybe not, but she will be the mother of his firstborn—a reality I fear will put me in the position of the “other woman” in this triangle. It won’t matter that, according to law, he’ll be mine after we marry. Not when Lilith has a piece of him we’ll never get back.
“I’m going to ask you again,” I say, squaring my shoulders. “What does she want from you?”
“Nothing that you have to worry about right now.”
“That’s not good enough!”
“What more do you want from me?” he shouts, jumping out of his chair in an instant. “I’ve told you where I stand, and that’s in the shoes of a fucking ass because even though she’s carrying my blood, all I can think about is you!”
I try not to flinch as his voice reverberates through the room.
“You’re holding something back.” Shaking my head, I fold myself inside my arms—just a compact body housing a huge heartbreak. “I can feel it, and if we’re going to make a marriage work, we need to have honesty between us.”
Two strides of his long legs close the chasm between us. “You want honesty?” He lowers his face until only an inch separates us, his body caging me in my seat. “I want nothing to do with Lilith, or this baby, or this goddamn Brotherhood. I’d take you out of here and never look back if I could.”
“But you can’t do that.” I don’t know if I believe it, but he does.
He closes his eyes. “No, and I can’t turn my back on this child, either.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“Where it’s always left us. This changes nothing. You belong to me, and I belong to you. If you know nothing else, then know that.”
“Where does that leave Lilith?”
“At the moment, smack in the middle of our lives whether we like it or not, but that doesn’t mean she’s standing between us, Novalee.” As if to prove it to me, he leans down and grazes my mouth with his.
Just a hint, a quiet yearning for forgiveness and understanding.
For trust.
“Stop,” I choke out, my throat caught in a vise of uncertainty. On the cusp of giving in, I move to push him away, but he grabs my wrists, fingers shackling my will.
“I know I fucked up with my bullshit self-sabotage…” he says, pausing long enough to swallow hard, “and I am so damn sorry I put us in this situation, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you walk out that door for the next seven months with this distance between us.”
Regret haunts his sea-blue eyes, the glisten in them tugging at my heartstrings. But I’ve given in too many times in this tower, especially when it comes to Sebastian Stone.
“Distance is all we have.” I yank my wrists from his grasp then give a hard shove to his chest. As he veers back, I launch to my feet before he corners me again.
My gaze cuts to the clock on the wall, and I don’t know whether to feel relieved or sad at the hour. “It’s time.”
“Fuck, not yet,” he groans, casting his gaze heavenward as he drags both hands through his messy hair. “You can’t leave like this.”
“I don’t have a choice.” Something’s wrong with my voice—some sort of ailment that turns my words to stoic strength, even though despair reduces me to shattered pieces.
“Just give me a minute,” he says, gesturing toward his state of half-dressed disarray. “I’ll walk you down.”