I swallow hard. “I think…maybe I do.”
“I’ve wanted someone for most of my life, but she’s always been out of reach.” His shoulders rise with a long, fortifying inhale. “Being with her goes against everything I was taught and conditioned to believe.” He turns to face me, and pain slashes his expression, hard lines of yearning shadowing his features. “Not only the code of the Brotherhood, but…”
I hold my breath, my hands clenched against the seat in suspense. “But?”
“The code of friendship. I’ve wanted her for years, but I wanted Sebastian’s permission first.”
My heartbeat throbs at my collarbone, an aching vise around my throat. “Permission for what?”
“To pursue a sexual relationship with Lilith Astor.” His eyes brighten with absolution. “And now he’s granted it.”
Chapter Six
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
My charcoal pencil deepens the lines on the wide vee neckline, accentuating a hint of cleavage on the likeness of Elise in the sketch. The dress sports a wrap-style bodice and a romantic A-line skirt that flows to the floor in gentle waves of tulle. Subtle embellishments add decoration, ensuring a simple yet elegant design. Out of the six sketches I’ve completed, bringing to life on paper various styles from ballroom to mermaid gowns, I think Elise will choose this one.
Something about the design speaks to me in her language, as if her warmhearted aura jumps off the page. I pause from my work long enough to glance at the clock. Elise should be here anytime now, and my stomach tightens at the thought her husband-to-be might be in tow.
I know he’ll want to talk about what happened with Liam last night.
But my mind’s still tangled from what Vance told me this morning.
Because if what he said is true, it means Sebastian traded the woman he loves to his friend for my anal virginity, and I have no idea how to process that. I don’t have the mental energy to find the hidden meaning in such an astonishing discovery.
I go back to sketching, comforted by the sound of charcoal meeting paper. The room is unnervingly quiet without my team present, but with the changeover from Gemini to Cancer, I gave them a few days off. They’re due to arrive back the day after tomorrow to help me with Elise’s prototype.
The telltale click of heels breaks the silence, and I look up in time to watch Elise enter my studio. She’s wearing a halter pantsuit designed for comfort instead of power, her blond hair drifting over bare, sun-kissed shoulders. Pregnancy looks good on her, with her glowing skin and perpetual smile. Landon makes her delirious with joy, and that’s all that matters right now.
I set the pencil down and gather the sketches. “Perfect timing. I just finished the last one.” Leaving the drafting table, I gesture for her to follow me to the seating area. Excitement vibrates off her as we settle next to each other.
“I can’t wait to see what you came up with.”
“I hope you like them, but if you don’t, I can make changes or start from scratch if you want me to.” I hand her the sketches and wait while she oohs and aahs over the designs. She sets each drawing on the table with reverence, as if they’re made with the delicacy of butterfly wings. When she comes to the last one, her blue eyes widen.
“This one.” Certainty paints her tone as she glances at me. “It’s perfect, Novalee. It’s like you reached into my head and created my dream gown.”
Something inside me beams at her compliment, a sense of awe and hope and rightness. I can do this—design beautiful clothes to dress up the world. It’s a gift, a calling, a rightness I’ve never felt inside my soul until this moment.
Because seeing the joy on her face is the best thing ever. Before I know it, I’ve thrown my arms around her, blinking back tears. “I’m so happy for you,” I whisper, my lashes fluttering to keep hot drops of happiness from escaping.
Someone clears their throat, and when Elise and I part, I find Landon watching us, green eyes full of curiosity. Before he spies her chosen design, she places the drawing facedown on the table.
“Sorry to interrupt, ladies.”
A surreptitious swipe under her eyes tells me she’s as emotional as I am over our shared moment. “Novalee was just showing me some sketches.”
Landon grins. “I can’t wait to see you walking down the aisle next month.”
They planned their wedding on the quick, since they want to be married before her baby bump starts showing. A dark cloud suddenly casts shade onto my mood. I’ll be planning my own wedding soon, only I don’t know who my groom will be. On the tail end of that disturbing thought is the realization I might not have a say in my wedding.
I don’t have a choice in my groom, so what makes me think I’ll have a choice in wedding gowns and cakes and color schemes?