Faye is more direct. “Did he hurt you?” She narrows her brows, purses her lips with protective, ball-busting intent. “Because if he hurt you…”
She’ll do nothing. We’re women in a foreign place that doesn’t afford us the same rights as men. They’ll say we’re weak and not as smart, but at the core of my heart, I know that’s not true.
Because it takes true strength and wit to survive a group of men like the Zodiac Brotherhood. Especially with a man like Liam at their head.
“He didn’t hurt me.”
Faye stands in a fluid and graceful motion, though the harsh angles on her face are anything but. She helps me to my feet. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“But something did happen?” Faye never side-steps the blunt questions—the ones that drag you kicking and screaming to the center of the bullseye. I’m pinned there now, unwilling to share what happened with my ladies, but helpless to find a graceful way out of it.
“He made me…” I hold her gaze as Elise stiffens. The two of them are the closest I’ll ever have to sisters, and we’ve talked about sex in the past, but the idea of confiding what Liam made me do, down to the last dirty detail, has my cheeks flaming.
Faye takes my hand. “You know you can tell us anything.”
“He asked me to…go down on him.” Though he didn’t ask, and I’m too ashamed to admit how powerless I was in the moment.
Faye raises a dark brow. “Did you enjoy it?”
“It didn’t…completely…repulse me.”
Elise exhales as if she’d been holding her breath for the last minute. “Don’t tease us. What was it like?”
Internally, I cringe at her noticeable excitement, but that’s Elise—always smiling and keeping things positive. From the day she came to live on our lands three years ago, she’s always been a glass-half-full kind of girl. Though I’ve never had the experience of a broken heart, Elise would be the first to offer a pint of chocolate ice cream and a collection of chick flicks.
Faye would be too busy kicking the ass of the man who’d hurt me to join in on the movie marathon. Between the two of them, they have me covered. I dart my gaze between my closest friends, taking note of their expectant faces, hearing their mutual silent question.
What was it like pleasuring a man like Liam Castle?
Scary.
Exhilarating.
Rough.
Arousing.
Shameful.
“I need to prepare for dinner,” I say, sidestepping the subject altogether.
Faye’s sigh of exasperation disrupts the dark curl teasing her left eye. “Fine. We’ll shelve this conversation for later.” She wants to needle me for more info on the art of oral sex, but she doesn’t. Instead, she turns to Elise. “Lay out a dress for the queen. I’ll draw a bath.”
“Something in black, please,” I tell Elise as I follow Faye into the en suite bathroom. The color’s appropriate for a rebellion, suitable for a funeral. The perfect camouflage to face twelve predatory men over dinner.
Several minutes later, I’m sinking into hot water with a relieved sigh, suds rising over my breasts. My nipples poke through the bubbles, over-sensitive from the change in temperature, and the chancellor plays on my mind like flashes on a picture reel.
The confidence in his touch.
The command in his voice.
The surrender on his face when he came.
A strong, foreign urge to touch myself ignites inside me. I glance at Faye, who’s taken a seat at the vanity, waiting to offer her help should I need it.
What I need is privacy.
“I can dress on my own tonight for dinner. You and Elise should settle into your quarters and get ready.”
Through narrowed eyes, she studies me as if searching for everything I’m not saying. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need some time alone.”
“Of course.”
After she leaves me alone with my lustful thoughts, I waste no time in pushing a hand between my legs. I’ve never felt so decadent and sinful. Steam rises off my slick skin, and I close my eyes as my fingers explore, increasing the rhythm once I press on the spot that feels especially good. I let those stored pictures of Liam play in my head. Hear his voice in my ears. Pretend the touch of my fingers are his. I flush even hotter, my heartbeat pounding behind my breastbone.
I’ve never been so close. Instead of shying away, like I did the last time I touched myself, I increase the pressure and speed, imagining the chancellor bracing above me, bare chest grazing my nipples.
He unlocked something deep inside me when he used my mouth the way he did. Something naughty and primal. A yearning that wasn’t there before—the need to know what it’s like to surrender to oneself.
To surrender to someone else.
I push two fingertips inside my pussy and envision his cock there instead. “Liam,” I moan, the plea for more rumbling off my lips.