‘But the instant we hit the first rough patch in our marriage you were ready to throw it all away,’ Angel condemned.
‘A long-term mistress is more than a rough patch,’ Merry protested helplessly. ‘I believed Roula because you introduced me to her as a friend that you trusted.’
‘She’s the sister I never had,’ Angel asserted with sardonic bite. ‘The thought of anything of a sexual nature between us is…repellent.’
And the last piece of the puzzle fell into place for Merry, who, while believing Roula, had not quite been able to grasp why Angel had never been tempted into having a more intimate relationship with her. After all, Roula was a beauty and had to share a lot with him. But if he saw the blonde in the same light as a sibling, his indifference to her as a woman was instantly understandable and highly unlikely to ever change.
‘I’ve seen a lot of divorces,’ Angel admitted. ‘In my own family, amongst friends. Nobody comes out unscathed but the children suffer the most. I don’t want my daughter to ever suffer that damage, but neither do I want a wife who runs like a rabbit at the first sign of trouble.’
‘I did not run like a rabbit!’ Merry argued, hot-faced. ‘Maybe you’re thinking of what you did after I told you I was pregnant!’
‘I took responsibility. I ensured your financial needs were covered.’
‘But you weren’t there when I was throwing up every morning and trying to drag myself into work to keep my job.’
‘You didn’t need to keep on working. Your allowance would have covered your living costs.’ Angel hesitated before asking with a frown, ‘Were you sick that often?’
‘Every day for about four months, often more than once a day. And then one evening I started bleeding and I assumed I was having a miscarriage. After that, I resigned from my job and went home to stay with Sybil.’
Angel levered his long, lean frame lithely off the door, moving with that innate grace of his towards her, his lean, dark face troubled. ‘You almost lost Elyssa?’
‘Well, I thought I was losing her and I panicked and went to the hospital, but it was just one of those pregnancy mishaps that seem more serious than they are. It was very frightening, though, and very upsetting.’
‘And I wasn’t there when I should’ve been,’ Angel registered for himself, studying her grimly. ‘Can’t turn the clock back and be there for you either, so that can’t be changed. Do you think you will always hold my absence during those months against me?’
‘I try not to dwell on it. If you didn’t want a relationship with me at the time there would’ve been no point in you coming back into my life,’ she conceded simply. ‘It would’ve been too awkward for both of us.’
Angel winced. ‘I didn’t even realise that I did want to be in a relationship with you back then. I would have to admit that I was completely blind to my own hang-ups. Growing up I only saw shallow, chaotic relationships, which is why when I was an adult I avoided anything that could have been construed as a relationship. I had sex and that was that, end of…only then I met you and my blueprint for a relaxed and unemotional life went up in flames.’
‘How could you have an unemotional life when you’re so full of emotion?’ Merry asked him incredulously.
‘I keep that side of me under control…at least I did until you and Elyssa sneaked through my defences,’ Angel reasoned wryly. ‘You know, you may not have been a happy camper while you were pregnant but I wasn’t any happier. You shook me up. You made me want more and that scared me because I had no experience of a normal relationship.’
‘You don’t do relationships,’ she reminded him drily.
‘What have I been doing with you for the past month?’ Angel shot back at her. ‘There’s nothing casual about our connection. Do you really think it’s normal for me to be content to spend so much time with one woman?’
‘I didn’t ask you to do that.’
‘I’m a selfish bastard. I did it only because I wanted to.’
‘For your daughter’s sake, you worked at being married to me,’ Merry paraphrased with pained dismissiveness.