My dire circumstances make me weep until I pass out from all the duress.
Chapter 18
CHRISTOPHER
Alexei still has a man tailing Sullivan, who has now returned from his business trip. But so far, he’s just gone home from the office.
Maybe I’m wrong?
Fuck, I can’t think straight anymore.
Alexei clears his throat, then asks. “We need to plan ahead. When we find Dash, and we will. Are we taking her to your hospital or ours? Yours will ask questions.”
Fuck. “It doesn’t matter,” I bite out, just wanting to find Dash.
“The police,” Alexei shakes his head, making me glance at him. “I can’t have them sniffing around me.”
“Our house,” Aunt Leigh answers. “I’ll get everything ready for her.”
Thank God, Aunt Leigh is a doctor.
Then she adds, “I’ll have to tell Miss Sebastian. I’ll need her help if Dash is in a bad way.”
We all agreed to keep this between us for a week before telling the rest of our family and friends and reporting it to the authorities.
“Okay,” Dad answers. “Let Miss Sebastian know what’s going on.”
“If you need anything… medically, let me know, and I’ll have my men bring it over,” Alexei offers.
“A CT scanner?” Aunt Leigh asks. “IV’s, Saline, 0.9NaCI, or NSS.”
Alexei pulls out a pad of paper and a pen and hands it to Aunt Leigh. “Write it all down.”
Aunt Leigh scribbles a list of things, and planning ahead does help ease the helplessness a bit.
“God, I can’t take much more,” Uncle Jax mutters, his voice tight with worry.
Me too.
If we don’t find her, it will break us. There won’t be coming back from this. Life will lose all meaning.
I don’t think I’ll be able to live without Dash. I’ll either lose my mind or…
As if Dad can sense the route my thoughts are heading in, he says, “We’ll find her.”
My phone begins to ring. Not recognizing the number flashing on my screen, my body instantly begins to shake. “This might be it.”
Tristan instantly starts the trace, and then he nods at me to answer.
Stay calm.
Don’t lose your shit.
You need to stay the fuck calm, for Dash’s sake.
Answering the call, I say, “Christopher Hayes.”
DASH
I’m starting to lose track of time. I’ve been here for four days? Five? I don’t know anymore.
“Tell me you love me!” Josh shouts, veins bulging in his neck.
I love Christopher.
Christopher.
The thought of him makes a dry sob escape over my chapped lips.
I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s as if Josh obliterated everything that used to make sense to me, everything I ever believed in.
That Christopher and my family would be able to keep me safe from the threats of life.
That my dreams would come true.
That I could just be happy.
That they’d find me and save me in time.
But they didn’t.
They’re not going to find me. It makes something break inside me.
Hope? Courage? The will to live?
I have no idea, but it leaves me feeling worthless. Like I didn’t mean enough, to begin with.
I never deserved Christopher.
There’s nothing left of my self-esteem, of my dreams.
My next breath depends on Josh.
I let out a whimper where I’m hanging again, the rope eating through my skin. Every day is a repeat of the day before. It’s killing my will to survive.
It has broken me mentally, making me feel like I’m nothing… just nothing.
Josh begins to advance on me. He draws his arm back, and I close my eyes. I can’t deal with this anymore. All the pain combined with starvation is getting the better of me. I’m sure I’m dying.
Maybe it’s for the best.
His fist slams hard into my side, and all I can do is gag for air. I have no time to recover before the next blow comes.
“Tell me you love me,” he roars again.
Pain becomes the sum of my being. I try to heave in a breath, but I can’t, it hurts too much, making me wish I’d just pass out. But the relief of darkness doesn’t come, only a new level of pain when the belt cracks over my already raw back again.
Minutes feel like grueling hours before I finally lose consciousness.
I’m unsure how long I’d been out, but I wake up on the floor with every part of my body screeching in agony. I can’t move at all.
“I thought you were never going to wake up. You had me worried there for a while.” Just hearing Josh’s voice has my body convulsing with fear. “You must be hungry, my love.”
Josh helps me up into a sitting position, and then he places a plate on my lap. Seeing the shrimp salad makes me feel weepy and emotional. Josh brings a bite to my lips, and unable to fight, I open my mouth.
I’m dependent on him for the most basic necessity. It’s stripping me of the last of my humanity.
Josh holds a bottle of water out to me, and knowing if I keep defying him, he’ll only kill me, I murmur, “Thank you.”