“Now?” I practically squeak. Not wanting to be the one who says yes or no, I ask, “What do you feel we should do?”
Christopher takes a deep breath. “You know how I feel about it.”
“I need to hear it again,” I mutter as I step around him. I walk to the expansive windows and stare at the traffic below.
I hear Christopher move, and then I feel him as he stops behind me. He takes hold of my shoulders and turns me to face him. “Having a child with you. Building a future together. I’m fine with all of it.”
So much for romance.
That’s the problem. The emotional side of things.
I want to be desired.
But then I keep weighing the pros and cons.
Christopher will be a good father.
We’re best friends.
He’s always treated me with respect.
I know he loves me. Not romantically, but it’s better than nothing. Right?
He stares at me for a moment, then tilting his head, he asks, “Are we going through with it, or not?”
Taking a deep breath, I pull an awkward face, as I admit, “I just… I,” I let out a sigh. “When I get married, I want the man to want me.”
Christopher tilts his head. “You think I won’t want you? Sexually or in general?”
“In every way,” I mutter, and then I finally admit, “I want to be desired.”
He takes a deep breath, then states, “Trust me, the instant you agree that we’re doing this, I’ll erase that worry for you.”
Trust me.
Locking eyes with Christopher, I know I’ll never find a better man. Being desired is not everything. I’ll learn to deal with it. Hesitating for a moment longer, I take a breath, then say, “Okay. Let’s do this.”
I do a double-take when Christopher’s expression begins to change, his jaw clenching until a vein starts to jump.
“Or not,” I say quickly, trying to defuse the bomb.
Hell, now I’m confused.
Slowly he shakes his head. “You’re okay with me kissing you?”
“Yeah, we have to see if –” My words cut off as Christopher moves forward. He wraps an arm around my waist, and then I’m yanked flush with his body. I let out a gasp, and before I can take another breath, his mouth crashes against mine.
I freeze.
Everything freezes for a couple of seconds, and the instant his lips begin to move against mine, my heart leaps out of my body, taking flight right out of the windows behind me.
Holy. Freaking. Shit.
Christopher brings a hand to the back of my head as he tilts his head. His tongue thrusts into my mouth, and then I have to grab hold of his shoulders as he pushes me against the glass.
Tingles explode over my skin, making it feel like my body is on a high.
His entire body presses against mine as he begins to kiss me in a way I’ve never experienced before. His tongue brushes confident strokes against mine, making a kaleidoscope of butterflies explode into action in my stomach. His teeth nip at my lips until they feel swollen and tingly.
My God.
With one kiss, Christopher is changing everything I thought I knew about us.
He makes it feel seductive, possessive, claiming.
It makes me feel desired.
Swept up in the moment, my tongue begins to war with his for control. It draws a growl from him, and the sound zaps through my body like a lightning strike.
When he breaks the kiss, our eyes instantly lock, and seeing Christopher breathless with an intense expression tightening his features makes me freaking weak in the knees.
Well, this is a side of my best friend I haven’t seen before.
Seconds pass before he says, “Safe to say there shouldn’t be any problems on the intimacy front.”
It’s the emotional side I’m worried about.
I pull myself free from the tight space between Christopher and the window and take a couple of steps away from him.
I have to be honest with him.
Turning around, I take a deep breath before I lift my eyes to his. “I don’t know if I can do it.” His expression instantly darkens, and it has me darting forward and grabbing hold of his hand. “Hear me out, please.” When he nods, I quickly continue, “That kiss was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I can’t kiss you like that and not fall for you.”
Christopher shakes his head. “What’s the problem?”
“I want to be in a relationship where the guy is head over heels in love with me as well. Being the only one who’s in love…” I let go of him, and taking a step back, I shake my head, “it will kill me emotionally.”
He frowns at me. “You think you’ll be the only one who will fall in love?”
I wrap my arms around my waist as I nod.
He looks at me like I’ve just said the most absurd thing ever. “Dash.” Shaking his head, he closes the distance between us, and taking hold of my shoulders, he leans a little down. “I already fucking love you.”