But he cuddled me. He always held me close. He never used to, but now he squeezed me so tight I sometimes couldn’t breathe. And last week . . . last week he had even pressed his lips against my head. My heart had nearly exploded. Rabbit had kissed me. I had kissed him on his lips when he was sad. But I never dreamed that he would kiss me.
I wanted that cuddle again now. I wanted that kiss. Heathan always made me feel safe.
I flinched when the elevator door opened and the bright lights from the ceiling hurt my eyes. I tripped on the carpet as I followed Mrs. Jenkins. I glanced down at my hands, and I managed to breathe a little bit. I was still holding my doll, clutching her by her long blond hair.
It will protect you from bad people . . . I heard my mummy’s voice say in my head.
The sound of footsteps made me look up. When I did, I saw Rabbit in the distance. Uncle Clive had his hand on Heathan’s shoulder, and he was leading him to a room. I tried to call out for Heathan, but before I could, Uncle Clive led him into the room and shut the door. I still tried to open my mouth, to ask Mrs. Jenkins where Heathan and Uncle Clive were going, but I couldn’t make my lips move. They were numb.
Was Heathan here for my birthday surprise too?
Was the surprise that I got him back after he had been kept from me for so long?
Mrs. Jenkins stopped outside of Papa’s office door. She fixed my headband and smoothed out my hair. “Your papa is going to think you’re so pretty, Miss Earnshaw. His perfect little girl.”
My eyelids were lazy as I tried to blink. I opened my mouth to tell her I wanted to go back to bed, but my mouth felt too dry to make my tongue work. My lips felt too swollen to open, and I couldn’t form words.
Mrs. Jenkins led me inside Papa’s office. Her hand held mine a little tighter as she shut the door behind us. My papa rose from his chair with a huge smile on his face. “Ellis!” he said and came toward me with his arms held out. He hugged me and held me tightly. He kissed my cheek, making a loud smacking sound on my skin. “Happy birthday, baby.” He stepped back and looked me up and down, holding my arms with his hands. “You look so beautiful.” I swayed as I tried to see him better.
My uncles each give me a tight hug. By the time the last one had stepped back, I felt tears on my cheeks. Help! I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. Something is wrong with me!
“Come here, baby.” Papa led me to the center of a circle of plush leather chairs. He moved to the side of the room, and the sound of “Dear Jessie,” my favorite song in the world, filled the air. My uncles sat down on the chairs, as did my papa. “Dance for us, baby,” Papa said, and suddenly the room stopped tipping to the side.
I tried to shake my head. Heathan had told me never to dance for them again. He told me that every night. He made me promise him, every night. And I hadn’t danced for them, not since the first time he told me.
I didn’t know if they had seen my head shake, but my papa didn’t look happy with me. I gripped my doll’s hair tighter in my fist. “Dance, baby,” he said again. But when I didn’t, he got to his feet. His hand touched my face, followed by his finger running down my cheek. “Did she drink it?” he asked someone over my head, behind me.
“All of it,” Mrs. Jenkins replied. “I made sure of it.” I heard the door open and close as she left the room.
My Uncle John stood and came over to us. He pulled my papa back by his arm and said, “I won the right to tonight, Jacob. I go first. It was a fair deal. I won that poker game fair and square.”
My papa nodded and gestured toward the door. Uncle John slipped his hand in mine then led me out of the room. I turned back to look at my papa, but he was already talking to my other uncles. They were shaking his hand and laughing. Uncle Samuel patted him on the back.
Uncle John yanked on my hand, pulling me forward. The movement caused my fist to open, and my doll fell to the floor. No! I tried to shout as Alice slumped to the carpet, but my mouth still wouldn’t move. I watched her lying on the carpet as Uncle John led me down the hall. We stopped at a door opposite the one Heathan had gone through with Uncle Clive. I reached out and ran my fingers over the wood of Heathan’s door. I tried to call his name. No sound came out. Before I could knock, to get my Rabbit to come to me, to tell Papa and my uncles that I was too sick for their birthday surprise, Uncle John took me inside the room.