I couldn't watch. I didn't want to see tears in his eyes or feel whatever he was feeling. I just knew that his love for her would be renewed. I couldn't handle it so I turned away. I felt gutted when I spoke. "She came to me before I disappeared. She wanted me to tell you about her child. And she's the one that took me to that bag. It's Tracey's, but you knew that. Wren knew too."
He didn't respond and I felt an overwhelming sense of longing from him. It was too much so I left. Roane needed time alone. Who was I kidding? I knew I shouldn't have left, but I did. As I wiped a tear away and turned down a hallway, I knew that I was running away because I couldn't bear to see the man I loved remember that he loved someone else.
Talia would always be first. That was the truth and I needed to accept it.
I kept going down hallways. I didn't watch or try to remember which way I was headed, but then I found myself at the door to a deck built on the second floor. Some patio tables were set up beside a small garden with a small waterfall that over granite rocks that had been piled from above the over-hanging roof. As I stepped out and felt the moisture in the air, I breathed in deep. I hadn't smelled water since I'd been gone. The castle had been rock and gardens, but no water. I'd missed it.
"Why are you out here?"
I turned and gulped when I saw Gavin at one of the tables. A lit cigarette was between his fingers and a glass of alcohol sat in front of him. He was in the shadows. A sense of brooding clung to him.
I inched a step closer to him. "I needed to clear my head."
"From what?" He tapped his cigarette on the ashtray.
He looked like he wanted to be alone. That was evident, but I didn't know where else to go. I sat down. "From Roane."
"Because?" His eyes were too knowing.
"I just told him that Talia had a child."
"Oh. Wow. That's not something I saw coming." Gavin glanced at the door.
"Please don't leave. I—" I closed my mouth. What was I going to say? That I didn't want to be alone? This was Roane's best friend. He was the person that should be with him, not with me.
"You didn't want to stick around?"
I snorted. "For what?"
My hands were so clammy and I looked down. I wrung them together. That's when I saw I was trembling at the same time. My whole body was shaking. I knew Gavin saw it all.
"It's not his, if that's what you're worried about."
"Huh?"
"Roane can't reproduce. None of us can except for the Mori or humans. She got with one of them to have a kid. You don't need to worry that Roane will take off to find the child. Guaranteed. And if you're worried that he'll pine over her, it won't happen." His eyes were cold as he watched me. Then he lifted his hand and took a drag off the cigarette. "Want my advice?"
I clasped my eyes shut. I readied myself.
"Go back to him. You're the best friend, not me. Trust me on that." Ice clinked in his glass as he took another sip.
There was a haunted look in his brown eyes, a sadness that resonated deep within me. I didn't want it. It wasn'
t mine to carry and I wanted it gone, but I knew that the pain in him would lessen if I took it into me. After a moment, he lifted his glass. "I can see why my best mate loves you. Not get back there before I do something I'm going to regret."
I grinned. "If I can find my way back."
"You'll be fine, Davy. Trust your gut. It knows where to go."
As I left, something made me pause. Was there something more to his words or—I closed my eyes and told myself to stop. He was right. I knew before I left, but I needed to go back and face Roane no matter the end result. And so, with a deep breath, I smiled goodbye and then tried to trace my way back. It wasn't hard. Every time I took a wrong turn, I opened myself and felt Roane. He was around this corner, then the left in the hallway, and finally after a few more walkways, I found myself at his office.
He sat behind his desk and had turned to watch the club's chaos beneath his feet. The office was dark, but the dance floor's strobe lights flashed through. All sorts of colors illuminated his face.
I didn't know what he was thinking or feeling and I didn't feel into him. He wouldn't like that.
"You came back." His voice was quiet, too quiet.
"Yeah." My own was raspy. "A little birdie told me I should."