Brown sighed, "I think it's romantic. She loves him, but he loves someone else. He still wants to make sure she's okay."
"Shut up," Emily said at the same time I did.
We glanced at each other and both grinned. Then I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry about Luke. I really am."
Emily dismissed me. "Don't worry about it. I'm not even that upset. I'm hurt. I feel like you went behind my back, but it's not like you're the only one keeping secrets. You know about Pete?" She blinked then. "How do you know about Pete?"
Uh, hell. "Pippa knows him and she figured it out. Don't ask me how. I have no idea." I gestured towards the door. "She took off. I think she's pretty hurt you didn't tell her about him."
"Why would I? I wanted to keep him to myself for a little bit. I hadn't even told you and I would've told you first. You're my closest friend here."
Warmth spread through me when I heard that. I felt so touched, honored. I realized then Emily had become one of my best friends. She might not know as much about me as Kates did, but she'd defended me at times. "Thanks, Em."
"I want friends like you." Brown blinked back tears. "You guys are so awesome to each other. You both are so understanding. It's so much. This is so great."
Emily sat back. "Do you do drugs?"
"See. Like that! You're so honest with each other, with me too." Brown laughed to herself. "And I don't do drugs, but I can see why you might think that."
Emily asked me, "Was she hurt that I hadn't said anything? I didn't know she knew Pete."
"I think," I chose my words very carefully. "I think she feels like she's closer to you than you think you are to her and yes, it looked to me that she knew Pete. It looked like there was some history between her and him."
"Who is Pete?" Brown plopped down between us. Emily looked down at her hands. Then Brown added, "Don't be shy now. We all know. You heard about Davy and this Roane character. Your turn?"
Emily looked back up and glared. Then she gave up the fight. "I met him at the grief group I've been going to. It's so amazing. He's so amazing. He's funny and smart and nice and just wonderful." She smiled to herself with a dreamy look on her face. "He's there because he lost someone close to him and needed to talk to people who understood. He said no one understood. When I went in and sat down at the first meeting it was love at first sight." She sighed. "I love him, Davy. He's so amazing. I feel like a part of me is home now. It's like I'm complete with him."
I smiled. "That's wonderful, Emily. It really is." I kept the sharp retort that she'd felt the same with Bennett in the back of my mind.
Brown's head swiveled between us. "If you're in love with this Pete, why were mad at Davy about this other guy?
The dreamy look vanished.
I sighed. It was now awkward again.
Emily stood up. "I wasn't mad about the guy. I was mad because she lied to me."
"What did she lie about? I mean, she just didn't tell you, did you?"
"It's different." I placed a hand on Brown's arm.
"It's not different. She's falling in love with some guy and never said a word to you, but she's mad at you. You never told her about this guy you fell in love with even though he's with someone else? So you're not even with him. You met him separately from her."
I gave a small shrug. "There were different circumstances, but Emily feels I betrayed her because she knew him and I never told her that I did."
"But you didn't because it was too painful to say anything. Who wants to tell someone that you like a guy she knows too, but he's with someone else? What's the point then? That's humiliating. I'd keep that to myself too. I don't think you did anything wrong."
Emily stood in front of her closet. Her head was bent. Her door was still closed and she didn't move.
Brown looked at me. "You didn't do anything wrong. If Emily can fall in love with someone and not tell you, she wouldn't say a thing if she liked someone who loved someone else. She wouldn't want to be embarrassed in front of you and she would be because you're the more—"
I clamped a hand over Brown's mouth. Whatever she was about to say did not need to be said. After she quieted and sat back on the couch, I let go and watched my roommate. What was she thinking and why was I so hesitant to read her thoughts?
Then I closed my eyes. I had to go in there. I had to violate my roommate. And I heard, 'Pete said she wouldn't understand. No one would. He said that she couldn't know. Am I wrong in not telling her? I didn't lie because—yes I did. Who am I lying to? Myself? That stupid girl is right. I wouldn't have told Davy if Pete hadn't felt the same as me. What do I do now? Pete, come help me.'
Suddenly the whole room shook again. The ferocity of it shocked even me and I stood. This wasn't me. This wasn't Brown. What was coming?
Brown gasped, excited and scared at the same time.