Roane shook his head and sat. His shirt was still fisted in his hands before him. “I’d been the leader when we were human. Lucan was just loud, but he didn’t think things through. He acted for me sometimes. I liked controlling from behind the scenes and it worked for us. We were starting to get back to that and I think his Family didn’t like the idea that one of their own wasn’t the leader anymore. They didn’t like being led by an outsider. Lucan loved it. I took them to new heights. I told you that I’d done the torture with their Family I’d done worse than that. I didn’t know who I was. I felt a separation between me and Lucan. I hated it. I went dark, really dark… as a vampire.”
“Until they kicked you out.”
“Lucan was forced to kick me out…,” Roane closed his eyes. “I found my Family and things changed… for awhile.”
“Was that the last time you saw him, when he kicked you out?”
He shook his head, his jaw clenched. “I wish, but… no. Lucan and I… we still both liked to defy laws, even vampire laws. That was in us from when we were human. We still saw each other until…”
“Lucas,” I whispered, but held back. I wasn’t sure… He was going to say something, but hesitated. And something in me didn’t want to hear it.
He swung his eyes to mine and I couldn’t look away. It was… he was starving. I was starving… something was in the air—I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t… I couldn’t think.
“You called me by my name,” he wrung out. Hoarse.
I nodded with a tight throat. I couldn’t form any words. I couldn’t talk… I had gravitated to him and I stood above him as he sat. I… I didn’t know what to say, how to react. I needed to be by him… it was something in me or maybe it was just me. I could only breathe. That was all I focused on until I felt his hand lift and the back of his finger wiped a tear away from me.
“Davina,” he whispered as he arched upwards, but he didn’t seek my lips. Not yet.
I grasped the side of his face and I was the one to press my lips to his. A part of me knew that I needed him and I wouldn’t ever stop needing him. I just hoped it wasn’t the end of both of us.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
I pressed against him, as close as possible. His hand slid slowly up my back and lingered at my shoulder. He traced his finger down my arm, to my wrist, my hand, my fingertip, until it rested warmly on my stomach. He spread his palm wide and held me in place for a second.
I gasped and surged upward against him. I needed air.
Roane groaned as he pulled his lips away. “Your shield’s down.”
I pressed my lips against his and moaned when I felt the struggle inside of him. He paused. He wanted to say something, but my tongue gently touched the tip of his. Then he lost the battle for control. Both his hands claimed my head and he tilted it so his tongue swept further, deeper.
I was so lost in his exploration that I hadn’t realized when Roane lifted me in the air. As I felt the satin sheets underneath my bare skin my eyes shot open.
When had I gotten undressed?
Roane’s lips settled on my neck and I felt the throb pound furiously inside of me—it didn’t matter when I’d gotten undressed.
He rested just above me and cradled the back of my neck. He lingered just over my collarbone, but swept his lips gently back and forth before he settled down to suckle lightly. I swept a hand up into his hair and the other explored down his chest to rest on his belt buckle. My fingers paused and then dipped inside. Roane growled as he surged upwards.
I laid there on the bed as he stood between my legs and both of us froze in place.
Then I felt something come over us. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I didn’t want it there. My hand fell away from his jeans with lightning speed. He caught it and held it. My eyes locked with his and I found myself thinking, ‘What?’
‘Your shield shouldn’t be down.’ How could a thought be so accusing?
‘We’re in the middle of something and you want to lecture me on my shield? Really? Is this the time?’
‘Your shield should always be raised. You don’t know who could get in.’
‘Besides evil vampires who want to drain my blood? I have no idea.’
“Enough,” Roane snarled viciously. I jumped from the sound. “Raise your shield now! I shouldn’t be able to read your thoughts.”
“What’s the deal?” I sat up, but Roane didn’t move. The movement brought us closer, only a few inches separated us. I swallowed tightly. My body reacted so quickly.
“The deal is that someone else, someone who doesn’t want to protect you could get inside and read your thoughts,” Roane leaned over and whispered, intimately.
A shiver sent goose bumps over my skin. ‘Why would I worry about some evil vampire getting in my head when you’re already there?’