She’d have to adjust every last thing she’d ever thought about Kyle Wade and his ability to be a father. And if she did, she might also have to think about him differently in a lot of other respects as well, such as whether or not he’d grown up enough to become her everything once again. But this time forever.
Four
Kyle reported to the Wade Ranch cattle barn for duty at zero dark thirty. At least he’d remembered to refer to the beasts as cattle instead of cows. Slowly but surely, snippets of his youth had started coming back to him as he’d driven to the barn. He’d watched his grandfather, Calvin Wade, manage the ranch for years. Kyle remembered perching on the top rail of the cattle pen while Calvin branded the calves or helped Doc Glade with injured cows.
Things had changed significantly since then. The cattle barn had been rebuilt and relocated a half mile from the main house. It was completely separate from the horse business, and Liam’s lack of interest in the cattle side couldn’t have been clearer. His brother had even hired a ranch manager.
Kyle could practically hear the rattle of Grandpa rolling over in his grave.
He’d always insisted that a man had to manage his own business and Calvin hadn’t had much respect for “gentleman” ranchers who spent their money on women and whiskey and hired other men to do the work of running the ranch. Clearly Liam hadn’t agreed.
The red barn dominated the clearing ahead. A long empty pen ran along the side of the building. The cattle must be roaming. Kyle parked his truck in a lot near a handful of other vehicles with the Wade Ranch logo on the doors. Easing from the cab, he hit the ground with bated breath. So far, so good. The cowboy boots were a little stiff and the heel put his leg at a weird angle, but he was going to ignore all that as long as possible.
He strolled to the barn, which had an office similar to the one in the horse barn. But that’s where the similarities ended. This was a working barn, complete with the smell of manure and hay. Kyle had smelled a lot worse. It reminded him of Grandpa, and there was something nice about following in Calvin’s footsteps. They’d never been close, but then Kyle had never been close with anyone. Except Grace.
The ranch manager, Danny Spencer, watched Kyle approach and spat on the ground as he contemplated his new boss.
“You pick out a horse yet, son?”
Kyle’s hackles rose. He was no one’s son, least of all this man who was maybe fifteen years his senior. It was a deliberate choice of phrasing designed to put Kyle in his place. Wasn’t going to work. “First day on the job.”
“We ride here. You skedaddle on over to the other barn and come back on a horse. Then we’ll talk.”
It felt like a test and Kyle intended to pass. So he climbed back into his truck and drove to the horse barn. He felt like a mama’s boy driving. But he was in a hurry to get started and walking wasn’t one of his skills right now.
Maybe one day.
Liam was already at the barn, favoring an early start as well, apparently. He helped Kyle find a suitable mount without one smart-alecky comment, which did not go unnoticed. Kyle just chose not to say anything about it.
A few ranch hands gathered to watch, probably hoping Kyle would bust his ass a couple of times and they could video it with their cell phones. He wondered what they’d been told about Kyle’s return. Did everyone know about the babies and Margaret’s death?
Sucker’s bet. Of course they did. Wade Ranch was its own kind of small town. Didn’t matter. Kyle was the boss, whether they liked it or not. Whether he had the slightest clue what he was doing. Or not.
The horse didn’t like him any better than Danny Spencer did. When he stuck a boot in the stirrup, the animal tried to dance sideways and would have bucked him off if Kyle hadn’t kept a tight grip on the pommel. “Hey, now. Settle down.”
Liam had called the horse Lightning Rod. Dumb name. But it was all Kyle had.
“That’s a good boy, Lightning Rod.” It seemed to calm the dark brown quarter horse somewhat, so Kyle tried to stick his boot in the stirrup again. This time, he ended up in the saddle, which felt just as foreign as everything else on the ranch did.
The ranch hands applauded sarcastically, mumbling to each other. He almost apologized for ruining their fun—also sarcastically—but he let it go.
Somehow, Kyle managed to get up to a trot as he rode out onto the trail back to the cattle barn. It had been a lifetime since he’d ridden a horse and longer than that since he’d wanted to.