“My family?” he asked warily.
I could tell I’d caught him by sur
prise. “Yeah,” I said. “You know…Did you have siblings? What was your father like? That sort of thing. ”
“I…I didn’t much know my father,” he said quietly.
I adjusted to see him more clearly. The topic was clearly an uncomfortable one.
Before I could probe further, he changed the subject. “What of you? What of your home?”
“My home?” I brushed that one right off. “I don’t have a home. My father used to knock me around. ”
“You mean to say he hit you?” His lips peeled back to reveal his fangs. “I’ll find him and—”
I hitched up on my elbow to kiss his cheek, cutting him off. “Thank you for that. ” The sentiment warmed me. He looked so fiercely protective—I think that was even a hissing noise he’d made. “But I promise you, it’s not necessary. I’m sure I’ll beat you to it anyway. ” I thought for a moment about my dad. Would I kick his ass if I ever saw him again? Was he even still out there, or had he already drunk himself to death? Did he ever think of me? I realized I didn’t care. “I’m over it,” I said, feeling my outer shell harden that much more. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?”
But he wouldn’t let it go. “Your mother allowed this to happen?”
Sadness sideswiped me, welling from some hidden place, clenching my heart. “My mom died when I was a kid. ”
He murmured some tender but unintelligible thing to me. I thought it must’ve been Gaelic, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was him, how he cared. How he tucked my head in his hand, comforting me with his sure and gentle caresses.
Between the blood and his touch, I grew drowsy. It made me oddly philosophical. I wouldn’t press Carden on his father but made a mental note to try again someday. There was still one thing I didn’t understand, though, that I did want an answer to: Why was I the one here, in his bed, being touched like this? “Why me?” I asked groggily. “Why are you with me, Carden?”
“Why am I with you?” The words came out sounding amused and perplexed.
I mustered energy enough to pull clear of his embrace, though his fingers remained tangled in my hair. “I’m serious. I’m not the prettiest girl on the island. I’m smart, but hell, that Audra-Frost girl isn’t exactly a dummy. I’m…I don’t know…I’m just me. ”
He used a single finger to trace the hair from my brow. “That’s it precisely. You’re just you. ” He let that sink in; then, growing quiet, he added, “Perhaps you help me to remember. ” At my questioning look, he elaborated. “You are an innocent. You are so steadfast. So true. ”
“An innocent, huh?” So how come I didn’t feel so innocent? I considered his other words—steadfast. True. Ronan had called me loyal once. I’d never really thought about it, but maybe they were right. After all, I felt ready to risk it all to discover what’d happened to Emma.
So then why wasn’t Yasuo recognizing any of this steadfast trueness?
I zoned out, thinking all this, and he must’ve mistaken my silence for bewilderment because he went on. “You have a sort of nobility. And when we’re together…it’s as though I, too, reclaim some part of that. ”
I angled away to get a better look at him. He was trying to explain, but he’d actually made it worse. “So the reason you like me is that I’m Miss Dependable? And because I’m innocent—a fragile and ennobled human?” Was that all? I shifted to let the moonlight hit him, peering for the truth on his face. “You were one of those guys who went for the broken birds, weren’t you?”
“Broken birds?”
“You know. The kind of guy who likes to save the ones with the broken wings. ”
“You intentionally misunderstand. ” He pinched my chin. “Aye, it’s true. I’ve spent long years seeking a wee dove to adore. But not because I wished for one to tend. I’ve wanted one with whom I could soar. ”
I leaned back with a sigh. Was it Carden’s words or that amazing accent that made it sound so fantastic?
I couldn’t think anymore and snuggled close, suddenly so tired. The extra-intense feeding had finally gotten to me, like I’d consumed three consecutive Thanksgiving dinners. I must’ve fallen asleep because I felt his arms slide under my legs, under my shoulders, and I had the sensation of the ground rushing away from me as he lifted me up. I wrapped an arm around his neck, curling into him.
Something happened as he slipped through the doors of the dorm. It was the middle of the night, but still, deep-seated instinct woke me. I tensed, suddenly on alert, aware of every creak and rustle.
“Quiet yourself,” he whispered in my ear. “Nobody will hear us. ”
We reached my room. Still holding me, he leaned down and turned the knob. Miraculously, the door opened without its usual moan.
My eyes went to Frost, sound asleep in her bed. “Don’t wake her. ”
He paused, his breathing low and even. He looked like he was sending his consciousness into the universe, if that made any sense. “She will not wake,” he said with surety.