When they broke apart, Hannah reached out her hand for his, and the simple gesture tugged at his heart. That sense of being a team. Of having a partner in the world. Someone you loved and who loved you back.
For this weekend, apparently, it was his to enjoy.
Too bad it was all fake.
"Mom, I want you to meet Matthew Herrington. My boyfriend. And," she added as she squeezed his hand, "my fiance."
"You're engaged! Oh, darling that's wonderful." She swooped Hannah into a hug, causing her to release his hand. Then she turned back to him and clutched his hands in hers. "I'm so thrilled. And thank you so much for coming to our celebration. I'm all flustered. And please call me Amelia. Or Mom."
"It's a pleasure, Amelia," he said, then caught Hannah's eye as she squeezed his fingers. He stepped closer, releasing her long enough to slide his arm around her. Without hesitating, she leaned against him, the scent of her shampoo as intoxicating as the whiskey he needed if he was going to get through this day without going completely insane.
"Hannah's been so busy I haven't had the chance to get all the details about you from her."
"And there's no time now, Mom. You've got over a hundred guests wandering around. Don't you have to go play hostess?"
From what Matthew could see, a hundred was probably an understatement. The back yard was huge--probably two acres of well-manicured land with a pool, tennis courts, and a cabana. Not to mention the massive patio on which they were standing. And everywhere he looked, people were mingling.
"When you told me it was a backyard barbecue, this really wasn't what I had in mind," he told Hannah after Amelia had wandered off.
"Wishful thinking," she said. "When I was growing up, Mom and I used to grab barbecue from this local dive, then take it back to the duplex we rented and have a party on the back porch. If it was summer, we'd lounge in one of those blow-up pools, too. We didn't have money for anything else. My aunt kept telling Mom she should just go on welfare, but that wasn't an option. She worked her but off, saved, and made it." Again, she flashed a smile. "And some of my best memories are things I wouldn't have had if we'd had money. Like the blow-up pool picnics."
"This was when you were really little, then?"
She laughed. "Nope. Probably sixteen. I used to love that stupid pool. I think I read every novel ever written while sprawled across one, my butt in the water and my head resting on the plastic. So awesome." She sighed. "Guess Mom's got it better now, though."
He squeezed her hand. "She seems happy. And from what I see she really loves you. I don't know why she's holding back the money your dad left for you, but I don't think it's out of spite."
"I don't either. It's--never mind." She started to turn away, but he took her elbow.
"What?"
"It seems like she lost herself when she married Ernest. Like with my dad--and with his memory--she was the person she really is. But with Ernest, she's playing a part. And I think...I don't know...sometimes I think that's the danger of a relationship. You end up losing yourself because you try to squeeze into a mold."
"Is that why you're not in a relationship?"
"Maybe. I don't know. Probably."
"Well, for what it's worth, I think you're wrong. Honestly, I believe it's just the opposite. A good relationship can help you be the person you really are."
Her mouth quirked as she considered the words. "Maybe. I don't know. I guess I haven't had a really good relationship--not romantically or professionally."
"Meaning?" A waiter came by offering margaritas, and he grabbed two, then led her to a small stone bench at the edge of the patio.
"Obvious, don't you think? I've never found someone I can completely be myself with."
"Huh," he said. "Have you been looking?"
She laughed. "Not really. And I don't intend to start. Not now when I'm diving into building a business. That's a terrible time to try to have a relationship."
Matthew had to agree. In fact, he was going the opposite direction. After spending more hours than he liked to think about working on his business, he was seriously considering cutting back. Because he wanted the family. A woman he loved. Kids. Maybe a dog. And it was too damn hard finding someone while he was wrapped up in work. And even if he did find her, how the hell could he build a family if he was bouncing between locations and setting up franchises?
"What?" he said, realizing his rambling thoughts had overlapped something she'd said.
"All I said was that I'm sticking with friends. Romance can wait."
"Because you can be yourself with friends."
Her smile was like an arrow to his heart. "I'm being myself with you, aren't I? Even though to the rest of the world it's an act."