"I was walking down Congress. And imagine my surprise when I find you sucking face with some dude. I mean, Christ, Shelby, we're dating."
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Is that what we're doing?"
"Well, we're damn sure seeing a lot of each other, especially when you factor in how often we're naked. And whoopsie, but my penis just seems to keep landing in your vagina. So I figure we're either dating or one of us is pretty damn clumsy."
She twisted, looking back and forth at the neighboring houses. "What is wrong with you?"
"Guess I'm just the class clown. You planning on dumping me for the valedictorian?"
For a moment, she looked like she was about to really let him have it. But all she did was stand perfectly still, probably counting to ten. Finally, she jammed her key into the door, then held it open and gestured roughly. "In," she ordered. "We are not doing this in front of the neighbors."
Doing this. The words sat like lead in his stomach. Doing what? Breaking up? Shit, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, cunt, tits, piss.
He drew in a breath, nodded calmly, and walked over the threshold.
She followed, then slammed the door behind her. "Let's get a few things straight," she said, coming over and poking him in the chest with her index finger. "First, I am not your ice princess bitch of an ex-wife. Got it?"
She didn't give him a chance to answer. Just barreled on. "Second, that dude was Alan." The name struck him like a kick in the gut.
"Fuck." He almost choked on the word. "So, what does that mean?" Did she want to break up? Because no matter what she said, they were damn sure dating. To hell with that. He wasn't going without a fight.
Or, rather, a bigger fight than this one.
"Third," she continued, completely ignoring his question. "You're an idiot."
"Because I fell for you? Yeah, maybe I am."
"You're an idiot because it was a good-bye kiss. A very chaste good-bye kiss that seemed appropriate since I'd just broken up with him."
"You--" He tried to continue the sentence, but his thoughts were too muddled.
She crossed her arms over her chest, tilted her head, and waited.
"You broke up with him?"
"I figured I had to. I can hardly keep going out with him when I feel this way about you. But he's a sweet man who never did anything wrong except not be you. So don't you dare give me shit."
"Ah," he said, shoving his hand into the pockets of his jeans. "And how exactly do you feel about me?"
She flashed a crooked smile then stepped closer until she could wrap her arms around him. "Like you're the kind of guy my vagina keeps sneaking up on."
He couldn't help it; he barked out a laugh.
"You're not too bright though, are you? I mean, falling for an idiot like me."
"No," she agreed. "Not very bright at all." She brushed a kiss over his lips. "You want to keep fighting or would you like some coffee?"
"Got any Scotch?"
She laughed. "Yeah, I think I can hook you up. Hang on."
As she went to the kitchen to get the drink, he settled in on the couch. And the first thing he noticed was that there was a new book on the coffee table--Watchmen
"You're reading this?" he asked when she brought him the drink.
"Barely started," she said. "I called and got the folks at Dragon's Lair to put aside a copy for me," she added, referring to his favorite store for gaming and graphic novels. "You said it was good," she added, as if daring him to contradict her.
"It is," he said, feeling ridiculously, stupidly flattered that she'd shelved some thick classic tome in favor of his favorite graphic novel.