‘I’m not talking about the pregnancy—I’m talking about the way you feel inside. You shut everyone out, Ella. You always have.’ Helen spread her hands in exasperation. ‘Did you do it with him? Didn’t you tell him how you felt?’
‘He knew.’ And that was why he’d ended it. For her, the relationship had been more than the hot sizzle of sexual attraction. He’d wanted shallow and she’d waded in deep. ‘You want to know how I feel? I’ll tell you. I feel as though I’ve been broken into a million tiny pieces. I’ve stuck the pieces back together and so far it’s all holding, but I don’t feel like me any more.’
‘Is that why you’re planning on living in the middle of nowhere?’
‘I need space to work out what I want. And it’s cosy here.’ Ella looked out at the trees spilling over the path and listened to the mellow sound of ducks. ‘I’ll be all right. I’m a paediatric nurse—at least I already know how to pick up a baby and change a nappy.’
‘I’m not worried about your ability to change a nappy.’ Helen swatted a fly. ‘I just don’t want you to be single.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being single. Single can be a lifestyle choice, you know. We single women earn our own money, we buy our own homes, we—we…’
‘We what? We have sex with ourselves? Hug ourselves when we’re miserable? Fix the car when the engine won’t start? Sounds great.’ Helen recoiled as she noticed a spider lurking in the corner. ‘Sorry, I know it isn’t politically correct to admit it, but I’m not ready to turn into a spinster yet and neither are you. Buried under all that insecurity, you’re an old-fashioned girl. The man made you pregnant. You have to tell him about the baby.’
‘No, I don’t.’ Strengthened by a core of steely determination, Ella lifted her chin. ‘He didn’t want me, Helen.’
And she would do everything she could to protect her baby from the emotional agonies she’d suffered as a child.
‘He didn’t know you were pregnant. And you don’t know why he walked out.’
Oh, yes, she did. Ella closed her eyes. Shut out the images. ‘He had another life. A life he didn’t tell me about.’
‘That bit is bizarre, I agree.’ Helen frowned. ‘I still find it hard to believe that the guy is seriously a billionaire. I’ve never actually met a real live billionaire before.’
‘And to think I used to make him cheese on toast.’ Ella slid off the bed and walked back through to the living area of the boat. ‘Must have been a real letdown after Michelin-starred restaurants. No wonder he left. I was probably giving him indigestion every night.’
Helen followed her. ‘Perhaps not telling you about the money was some sort of romantic test.’
‘Stop endowing him with thoughtful, sensitive qualities.’ Ella tugged open a cupboard and found plates and mugs. ‘Nikos was a selfish, driven, work obsessed male who only wanted one thing.’
‘Well, at least he was jolly good at that one thing.’ Catching Ella’s eye, Helen subsided with a shrug. ‘Sorry—but I just don’t see why the money would make him walk out. It doesn’t make sense. God, this is frustrating. Don’t you want to talk to him?’
‘There’s nothing to talk about. He lied to me and he left. He didn’t even have the courage to tell me face to face—just sent me an email telling me that he was going back to Greece and that our relationship was over.’
Helen winced. ‘I hate email. Did you ever reply?’
‘No. Because that was the day I went to the doctor about being sick. Hard though it is to believe, it hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be pregnant.’ Ella rolled her eyes, embarrassed by her own stupidity. ‘While I was in the waiting room I flicked through a celebrity magazine. And there was a four-page spread on Nikos.’ Heart pounding, she broke off and pressed her fingers to her temples. She still couldn’t actually believe it had happened to her.
Helen slipped her arms around her. ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry.’
‘So am I,’ Ella said wearily, extracting herself from the hug. ‘But that’s life, isn’t it? I should be grateful that I found out what sort of man Nikos is before the relationship went too far. At least this way it’s only me that gets hurt.’ Better now, before the baby was born.