I all but ran out of the house, closing the door behind me. I bent forward and pressed my hands on my knees and sucked in huge gulps of air.
Calm down.
I repeated the thought over and over in my mind then stood upright and looked directly across the road to the lights of the Jeep that were pulling into Keela and Alec’s driveway. She was home.
Thank God!
I took off out of the garden, ran straight across the road, and up their driveway.
“Aideen!” Alec snapped when he got out of his car. “You scared the shit out of me. It’s dark out. Don’t do that again, I could have reacted out of reflex and hit you.”
“Sorry, flower,” I said, breathing heavily. “Open your door.”
Keela walked around the car and frowned. “Where did you come from?” she asked.
I pointed to the house across the road.
“Have you been there since I left hours ago?” she asked, wide-eyed. “It’s nearly seven.”
She didn’t need to know that Kane and I watched the entire first season of Sons of Anarchy in his bedroom all day. Nobody needed to know that.
“I gave him his second injection,” I lied, avoiding answering her question directly.
Keela watched me for a moment then nodded at me. “Okay, so why are you here, breathin’ like you just ran a marathon?”
Uh.
“I need... to use your bathroom,” I said, then smiled.
Alec sighed as he walked forward and opened the front door of his house. He entered and turned off the beeping of the alarm by entering the alarm code onto the keypad.
“Why didn’t you use the toilet in Branna’s place?” Keela asked as we went inside.
Because I know you recently stocked up on pregnancy tests, and I couldn’t stay over there because everyone was seconds away from finding out who was really pregnant.
I knew deep down it wasn’t Bronagh who was pregnant like Branna suggested, but I refused to believe it was me who was pregnant until I saw the proof for myself.
“Go on then,” Keela said, waving me up the stairs when I didn’t give her a reply.
“Thank you!” I shouted as I ran for the stairs.
“Turn on the fan if you have a shite!” Keela bellowed up the stairs after me.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay!”
“Is that what you came here for? Next time take a crap in Ryder’s place!” Alec’s voice hollered up the stairs after me.
I heard Keela’s laughter and Alec’s bickering, but both of them faded away when I entered their bedroom and ran into their bathroom. I knew I could have used the bathroom on the first floor, but I knew Keela’s master bathroom was the one with the pregnancy tests. She wasn’t planning on getting pregnant anytime soon—she had an implant in her arm to prevent pregnancy—but she had to stock up on tests because the girls and myself used up the ones she had last week.
When I closed the door of the bathroom, everything became deathly silent. Even my breathing slowed down. It was like my body knew I was about to do something huge, and it wasn’t taking a crap like Alec thought it was.
I took slow, deep breaths and walked over to the his-and-hers set up. I placed my hand on the marble counter and looked into the mirror at myself. I didn’t look like the twenty-eight-year-old woman I was. I saw a scared little girl who was at a loss. I frowned at myself then shook my head.
You can do this.
I believed I could, but hell, it was still terrifying. I reached up to the medicine cabinet above the sink and opened the door. I spotted the un-opened box of the digital Clearblue pregnancy tests. I reached up and took the box in my hand, quickly undid the wrapping, and pulled out a covered pregnancy test. I removed the packaging on it and stared at the test.
This was it.
I walked over to the toilet, pushed my leggings and underwear down to my ankles, and then sat down. I knew the gist of taking a pregnancy test; I’d taken two in the past nine days, but finding out the results had never come easy so hopefully the third time would be a charm for me. I needed to know if I was pregnant.
It took a few minutes for me to be able to go—my nerves caused me to lock up, but luckily, I eventually peed on the stick. I capped the test end and placed it on the counter next to me. I finished my business then pulled my underwear and leggings back up. I walked to the sink where I spent a great deal of time thoroughly washing my hands. When I was finished I dried my hands and turned and stared at the test on the counter across from me.
I didn’t know how long I had to wait for the test to be ready, and I didn’t want to pick up the box and read it because, with every passing second, I felt more and more sick. I needed to do this, but that didn’t make me feel any better about doing it. It actually made me feel worse. If I was pregnant then I was completely fucked. I was twenty-eight years of age and I was well aware that I wasn’t getting any younger, but I could barely take care of myself. I had a grown-up job, and a grown-up apartment, but I didn’t feel like the adult I was. I enjoyed having fun and doing stupid things regardless of my age, but this? This was serious because if I couldn’t get a dog to like me, how in the hell would I get a baby to?
I shook my head and forced all the ‘what if’ thoughts away. If I was pregnant, then I was pregnant. I would deal with it—probably not in the most mature way—but I’d deal with it nonetheless. With a firm nod of my head, I walked over to the counter facing me and picked up the pregnancy test. I put down the seat of the toilet and sat on it. I stared at the back of the test and tried to pluck up the courage to turn it over.