Maybe before, when we were still young, but he’s nineteen. I felt my heart tearing in my chest as dread overcame me. I’ve never doubted ‘us’ until now. It’s one thing to spend hours on the phone when he’s a million states away.
But now that he’s here it’s been brought home to me just how hopeless our situation still is. I’ve been living in a bubble, hanging onto a dream. A dream that started when I was thirteen years old and he protected me, like a knight in shining armor. But we’re a long way from those days.
“What are you thinking about to put that look on your face?” We’d been walking in silence for the better part of five minutes. I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly feeling shy and awkward… and very tense. “Nothing.”
“Caitlin!”
“It just seems like you’ve grown up and I haven’t. I don’t know why you even bother.” My outburst was very unlike me, but I think long overdue. He actually laughed which made me mad. I stopped walking and tried tugging my hand out of his.
“You don’t think you’ve grown?” His eyes fell to my chest and my face heated up as I tried covering my breasts with my free hand. I felt tears gathering in my eyes and wondered what had happened to the happy reunion I’ve been dying for.
He looked into my eyes all laughter gone now and my breath got trapped in my lungs.
Oh wow! He’s never looked at me quite like that before, with such…hunger. He opened his mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it as his hand came up to cup my cheek.
“I ‘bother’ because you’re the love of my life. I ‘bother’ because you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I ‘bother’, because I’d die without you.” He leaned in and covered my lips with his, taking the last of my breath with him.
Todd
Damn, this kiss was even better than the one we shared earlier. Now I wasn’t afraid to hold her, to touch, as my arms came around her drawing her in closer. I put everything into this kiss, all my hopes and dreams, the long days and nights spent without her. And when her hands tugged at my back trying to get closer still, I sank into her, heart and soul.
It’s one of those kisses that should lead somewhere. The kind a man and woman share when they’re about to take that next step, wild, uninhibited, passionately hot. I pulled her in even closer as my body reacted to her nearness after being so long apart, and to her taste, as her lips followed mine hungrily.
I heard a car engine off in the distance and remembered where we were. Pulling my lips away from hers I rested my forehead against hers as my hands fell to rest on her spectacular ass, holding her in place against me. “I missed you so much baby.”
I don’t recall her body feeling this ripe before. Then again I don’t think I’ve ever held her this close before. This was no girl in my arms and the thoughts in my head were beyond my control. I don’t know why I didn’t expect this. In my head I always saw us just picking up where we left off, with the same ease we’d always shared with each other.
Somehow I’d overlooked the reality of what this next phase of our relationship would be like. I was dumb. I somehow thought that the same fears I had as a fifteen year old boy would keep me in check, but with just one embrace I now know that I’ve only been kidding myself all this time.
There’s no way I can spend the whole summer with her and not want, not take. Shit! Her dad has conditioned us so well that it never occurred to me that we’d be here, with me wanting her like this, and even giving serious thought to taking what I want.
I should let go, back away from her. All I need is for someone to see us out here like this and tell her dad, but I couldn’t bring myself to release my hold on her, not yet.
In my feverish mind all I could think of, is the fact that my house is just a few doors down from here. My empty house with no one to interrupt. What the hell are you thinking Todd?
I dragged my mind back from those dangerous thoughts and tried to regulate my breathing. If she were eighteen I’d have said fuck it and just do what I want father or no father, that’s how potent she was.
I was willing to risk his wrath just to be with her right this second. But she’s seventeen, and though she’d grown in the four years I’ve known her, she’s still considered too young, especially to Colton Lyon.