Chapter 19. Remaining
40
Marlene smiled hesitantly at Siever Genarr. She had grown used to invading his office at will.
'Am I interrupting you at a busy time, Uncle Siever?'
'No, dear, this is not really a busy job. It was devised so that Pitt could get rid of me, and I took it and kept it so that I could be rid of Pitt. It's not something I would admit to everyone, but I'm compelled to tell you the truth since you always spot the lie.'
'Does that frighten you, Uncle Siever? It frightened Commissioner Pitt, and it would have frightened Aurinel - if I had ever let him see what I could do.'
'It doesn't frighten me, Marlene, because I've given up, you see. I've just made up my mind that I'm made of glass as far as you're concerned. Actually, it's restful. Lying is hard work when you stop to think about it. If people were really lazy, they'd never lie.'
Marlene smiled again. 'Is that why you like me? Because I make it possible for you to be lazy?'
'Can't you tell?'
'No. I can tell you like me, but I can't tell why you like me. The way you hold yourself shows you like me, but the reason is hidden inside your mind and all I can get about that are vague feelings sometimes. I can't quite reach in there.' She thought for a while. 'Sometimes I wish I could.'
'Be glad you can't. Minds are dirty, dank, uncomfortable places.'
'Why do you say that, Uncle Siever?'
'Experience. I don't have your natural ability, but I've been around people for much longer than you have. Do you like the inside of your own mind, Marlene?'
Marlene looked surprised. 'I don't know. Why shouldn't I?'
'Do you like everything you think? Everything you imagine? Every impulse you have? Be honest, now. Even though I can't read you, be honest.'
'Well, sometimes I think silly things, or mean things. Sometimes I get angry and think of doing things I wouldn't really do. But not often, really.'
'Not often? Don't forget that you're used to your own mind. You hardly sense it. It's like the clothes you wear. You don't feel the touch of them because you're so used to their being there. Your hair curls down the back of your neck, but you don't notice. If someone else's hair touched the back of your neck, it would itch and be unbearable. Someone else's mind might think thoughts no worse than yours, but they would be someone else's thoughts and you wouldn't like them. For instance, you might not like my liking you - if you knew why I liked you. It is much better and more peaceful to accept my liking you as something that exists, and not scour my mind for reasons.'
And inevitably, Marlene said, 'Why? What are the reasons?'
'Well, I like you because once I was you.'
'What do you mean?'
'I don't mean I was a young lady with beautiful eyes and the gift of perception. I mean that I was young and thought I was plain and that everyone disliked me for being plain. And I knew I was intelligent, and I couldn't understand why everyone didn't like me for being intelligent. It seemed unfair to be scorned for a bad property while a good property was ignored.'
'I was hurt and angry, Marlene, and made up my mind that I would never treat others as people treated me, but I haven't had much chance to put that good resolution into practice. Then I met you, and you come close. You're not as plain as I was by far, and you're much more intelligent than I ever was, but I don't mind your being better than me.' He smiled very broadly. 'It's like giving myself a second chance - with advantages. But come, I don't think that is what you came to talk to me about. I may not be perceptive in your sense, but I can tell that much.'
'Well, it's my mother.'
'Oh?' Genarr frowned with a sudden obvious and almost painful increase in interest. 'What about her?'
'She's just about finished her project here, you know. If she goes back to Rotor, she'll want me to go back with her. Must I?'
'I think so. Don't you want to?'
'No, I don't, Uncle Siever. I feel it's important that I stay here. So what I would like you to do is to tell Commissioner Pitt that you would like to keep us here. You can make up an excuse that sounds good. And the Commissioner, I'm pretty sure, will be quite glad to have us stay, especially if you explain that Mother has found out that Nemesis will destroy Earth.'
'Has she told you that, Marlene?'
'No, she didn't, but she didn't have to. You can explain to the Commissioner that Mother will probably annoy him continually with her insistence that the Solar System be warned.'
'Has it occurred to you that Pitt would not be keen on obliging me? If he gets the idea I want to keep Eugenia and you here in the Erythro Dome, he's liable to order you back to Rotor just to annoy me.'
'I'm quite sure,' said Marlene calmly, 'that the Commissioner would much rather please himself by keeping us here, than displease you by taking us back. Besides, you want Mother here because you're - you're fond of her.'
'Very fond of her. All my life, it seems. But your mother's not fond of me. You told me quite a while ago that your father still occupies her thoughts.'
'She likes you more and more, Uncle Siever. She likes you a great deal.'
'Liking is not loving, Marlene. I'm sure you've already discovered that.'
Marlene reddened. 'I'm talking about old people.'
'Like me,' and Genarr leaned his head back and laughed. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, Marlene. It's just that old people always think young people haven't really learned about love; and young people think that old people have forgotten about love; and, you know, they're both wrong. And why do you think it's important to stay in the Erythro Dome, Marlene? Surely not just because you like me.'
'Of course I like you,' said Marlene seriously. 'Very much. But I want to stay here because I like Erythro.'
'I've explained that it's a dangerous world.'
'Not for me.'
'You're still certain that the Plague won't affect you?'
'Of course it won't.'
'But how do you know?'
'I just know. I've always known this, even when I was on Rotor. I had no reason not to.'
'No, you didn't. But after you were told about the Plague?'
'That didn't change things. I feel completely safe here. Even more than on Rotor.'
Genarr shook his head slowly. 'I must admit that I don't understand this.' He studied her solemn face, her dark eyes half-hidden by those magnificent lashes, 'However, let me read your body language, Marlene - if I can. You mean to have your own way in this, at whatever cost, and to remain on Erythro.'
'Yes,' said Marlene flatly. 'And I expect you to help me.'
41
Eugenia Insigna blazed quietly with anger. Her voice was not loud, but it was intense. 'He can't do this, Siever.'
'Of course he can, Eugenia,' said Genarr just as quietly. 'He's the Commissioner.'
'But he's not an absolute ruler. I have my citizen's rights, and one of them is freedom of movement.'
'If the Commissioner wishes to establish a state of emergency, either general, or, for that matter, confined to one person, then citizen's rights are suspended. That's more or less the gist of what the Enabling Act of '24 says.'
'But it makes a mockery of all the laws and traditions we have, dating back to Rotor's establishment.'
'I agree.'
'And if I make an outcry over this, Pitt will find himself-'
'Eugenia, please. Listen to me. Let it go. For now, why don't you and Marlene simply stay here? You're more than welcome.'
'What are you saying? This amounts to imprisonment without accusation, without trial, without judgement. We are compelled to stay in Erythro indefinitely by the arbitrary ukase-'
'Please do it without objection. It will be better.'
'How better?' Insigna spoke with infinite contempt.
'Because Marlene, your daughter, is very anxious that you do so.'
Insigna looked blank. 'Marlene?'
'Last week she came to me full of suggestions that I maneuver the Commissioner into ordering the two of you to remain here on Erythro.'
Insigna half-rose from her seat, wildly indignant. 'And you actually did it?'
Genarr shook his head vigorously. 'No. Now listen to me. All I did was to inform Pitt that your work here was finished and that I was uncertain whether it was his intention to have you return to Rotor with Marlene or to stay here. It was a perfectly neutral statement, Eugenia. I showed it to Marlene before I sent it off and she was satisfied. She said, and I quote, "If you give him the choice, he will keep us here." And, apparently, he's doing that.'
Insigna sank back. 'Siever, are you really following the advice of a fifteen-year-old girl?'
'I don't think of Marlene as merely a fifteen-year-old girl. But tell me, why are you so anxious to go back to Rotor?'
'My work-'
'There is none. There will be none if Pitt doesn't want you. Even assuming he allows you to return, you'd find yourself replaced. Here, on the other hand, you'll find equipment you can use - that you have used. You came here, after all, to do what could not be done on Rotor.'
'My work doesn't matter!' cried out Insigna with sweeping inconsistency. 'Don't you see that I want to return for the same reason that he wants me to stay? He wants Marlene destroyed. If I had known, before I left, of this Erythro Plague, we'd never have come. I can't risk Marlene's mind.'
'Her mind is the last thing I'd want to risk,' said Genarr. 'I would sooner risk myself.'
'But it is at risk if we stay here.'
'Marlene doesn't think so.'
'Marlene! Marlene! You seem to think she's a goddess. What does she know?'
'Listen to me, Eugenia. Let's talk about this rationally. If it really seemed that Marlene was in danger, I would get you both back to Rotor somehow, but listen to me first. There's nothing megalomaniacal about Marlene, is there?'
Insigna was trembling. Her passion had not receded. 'I don't know what you mean.'
'Is she prone to making grandiose claims that are fanciful, that are patently ridiculous?'
'Of course not. She's a very sensible- Why do you ask these questions? You know that she makes no claims that aren't-'
'That aren't substantiated. I know. She never boasted about her perceptivity. It was more or less forced out of her by circumstance.'
'Yes, but what is the purpose of all this?'
Genarr kept on, quietly. 'Has she ever laid claim to having strange intuitive powers? Has she ever expressed herself as certain that something, some particular something, was sure to happen, or was sure not to happen, for no reason other than that she was certain?'
'No, of course not. She clings to evidence. She doesn't make wild claims without evidence.'
'Yet in one respect, perhaps only in one respect, she does. She is certain that the Plague cannot touch her. She claims that she experienced this utter confidence, this certainty that Erythro cannot harm her, even on Rotor, and that it grew stronger when she reached the Dome. She is quite determined - completely determined - to remain here.'
Insigna's eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. She made an inarticulate sound and then said, 'In that case-' and remained staring at him.
'Yes,' Genarr said in sudden alarm.
'Don't you see it? Isn't this the Plague striking? Her personality is changing. Her mind is being affected.'
Genarr sat frozen at the thought for a moment, then he said, 'No, it can't be. In all the cases of Plague, nothing like this has been detected. This is not the Plague.'
'Her mind is different from those of others. It would be affected differently.'
'No,' said Genarr desperately. 'I can't believe that. I won't believe that. I believe that if Marlene says she is certain she is immune, that she is immune, and that her immunity will help us solve the puzzle of the Plague.'
Insigna's face whitened. 'Is that why you want her here on Erythro, Siever? To use her as a tool against the Plague?'
'No. I don't want her here only to use her. Nevertheless, she wants to stay and she may be a tool, quite apart from whether we want her to be one or not.'
'And just because she wants to remain on Erythro, you are willing to allow her to do so? Just because she wants to stay out of some perverse desire she can't explain and in which you and I can see no reason or logic. You seriously think she should be allowed to remain here merely because she wishes to? Do you dare tell me that?'
Genarr said with an effort, 'As a matter of fact, I am tempted in that direction.'
'It is easy for you to be tempted. She is not your child. She is my child. She is the only-'
'I know,' said Genarr. 'She is the only thing you have left of - Crile. Don't stare at me like that. I know that you have never overcome your loss. I understand how you feel.' He said this last softly, gently, and looked as if he wanted to reach out and touch Insigna's bowed head.
'Just the same, Eugenia, if Marlene really wants to explore Erythro, I think nothing will stop her from doing so in the end. And if she is absolutely convinced that the Plague will not touch her mind, perhaps that mental attitude will prevent it from doing so. Marlene's aggressive sanity and confidence may be her mental immune mechanism.'
Insigna snapped her head up, her eyes smoldering. 'You are speaking nonsense, and you have no right to give in to this sudden streak of romanticism in a mere child. She is a stranger to you. You do not love her.'
'She is no stranger to me and I do love her. More important, I admire her. Love would not give me that depth of confidence that would permit the risk, but admiration would. Think about it.'
And they sat there, staring at each other.
***