‘You won’t make this hard...harder than it is,’ she’d corrected, appealing, ‘Will you, Mum?’
There had been a long pause and when her mum had finally shaken her head Lily had let out a long sigh of relief.
* * *
For a split second he really thought that Lily was going to block the door at the last minute, but then as she visibly straightened her slender shoulders she shifted to one side to allow him to enter the room before her.
Before he could do so Lily’s mother emerged. The woman had always had a smile and a cheery word for him in the past, but now she walked past with her head disdainfully high. She blanked him completely until the last moment when she turned her head and tossed him a killer look that he presumed she reserved only for men who got her daughter pregnant.
He was a parent... Would it ever sink in?
Behind him he registered Lily’s voice. The tone sounded urgent and pleading, but he tuned it out. All his focus was on that next step.
He took a deep breath, released it in a measured hiss and walked into the room.
In his life Ben had walked coolly into tough situations. Meetings where a false move or a show of weakness could lose him a fortune. He’d once got himself unexpectedly caught in the middle of a coup and found it exhilarating. Nerves were good. He used them; they gave him a vital edge.
He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets to hide the fact they were shaking. If only those people who said Ben Warrender had nerves of steel could see him now! As he walked into the room his body was bathed in a cold sweat. It was the hardest step he’d ever taken.
‘She’s asleep.’
He didn’t react to the unnecessary information.
She’d seemed bigger somehow when he’d seen her at Warren Court, but now she was tiny, a baby really. She lay in a baby-sized bed, the sheet pulled up to her chin, one little hand clutching it tight. There were streaks on her face as though she’d been crying.
He gasped as he felt the emotion-tipped knife slide between his ribs straight into his heart. He had worried that he was incapable of loving anyone, even his own child... He’d been wrong. He knew now that he’d lay down his life in an instant for this sleeping angel.
Watching his face as he leaned forward and touched Emmy’s cheek brought a massive aching lump of emotion to Lily’s throat. The bleakness, the pain, the wonder...she recognised them all.
Then she saw the sheen of moisture in his eyes... Sorry. The word rattled around in her head and stayed there. What was the point in saying it? If the roles were reversed she’d never have forgiven him. The knowledge lay like a stone in her chest.
‘I’ll be outside,’ she whispered huskily, turning her head so he didn’t see her own tears as she left to give him some privacy.
It was some minutes later when he emerged. His handsome face was drawn and, though he had clearly been shaken by the emotional experience, he was in control now.
As her eyes meshed with his, without warning Lily’s stomach clenched with desire that she stubbornly refused to acknowledge.
‘She is a beautiful child.’
‘I think so.’
‘Will she sleep long, do you think?’
Lily nodded and explained, ‘She had a bad night, so they gave her something. Last time it really knocked her out.’
‘So you had a bad night too?’ The shadows under her eyes made the answer obvious. She looked like a sepia copy of the radiant woman he had seen emerge from the sea. Still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, but with a vulnerability that was programmed to arouse any man’s protective instincts.
The response was not unique to him.
‘Would you like a coffee?’ she suggested tentatively. ‘There’s a machine in the visitors’ lounge.’ She tilted her head in the direction of a corridor to her right. ‘It’s just down here.’
He nodded.
The small lounge used by parents was empty. Lily walked across to the drinks dispenser, while Ben folded his long, lean length into one of the easy chairs that lined the wall. Stretching out, he crossed one booted foot over the other.
She was conscious of his eyes following her as she walked back.
‘Black. I think it’s coffee—it’s hard to tell.’ Her lips fluttered in a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
He looked at the paper cup for a moment before taking it and grimaced, but didn’t comment as he lifted it to his lips.
‘Sorry about Mum—she’s still in shock.’
His lashes lifted off his chiselled cheekbones. ‘There’s a lot of it about.’