There was a long moment of silent shock that froze her cousin’s face like a statue. “What do you mean you’re pretty sure?”
“There was a going-away party for Shelby and me. Someone spiked the soda with ecstasy right there under the guard of chaperones and everything. Anyway, that night’s a huge blur, but—”
John interrupted with a groan. “It’s okay, I don’t need the details. I’d like to wring the neck of the scum who did that to a bunch of innocent kids. Does Nick know she’s his?”
Sarah closed her eyes and shook her head, allowing the impact of her past to hit her full force. All these years, at the urging of her parents, she’d been encouraged to treat Emma like her surprise baby sister, born just after Sarah and her twin, Shelby, turned seventeen. They never knew she suspected that Nick was the one. Who else could it have been? How her family had sacrificed for her wild, childish heart and for someone’s nasty practical joke.
“Sarah?”
“You know how it was. Mom and Dad believed if they didn’t adopt her I wouldn’t go to college, wouldn’t have the chance Shelby had. I have nothing to go on but memories of seeking Nick out at the party—they’re fuzzy, at best. Everyone found out about the spiked soda, so my parents always knew I’d been caught up in something I had no control over.”
“So you can’t be sure it was him.”
“He was the only one I’d have even gotten close to. He was the only one. Ever. She looks like him.”
John sighed. “This one’s a doozy, Sarah Fey, I’ve gotta tell you.”
“I’m worried about Emma. She’s still such a little girl in so many ways. It’s partially my fault she’s been so sheltered. I spent so much time with her—”
“You’re good for her, Sarah. You practically gave up dating. In fact, I think she was smothered, if you ask me.”
“Didn’t ask.” Still, his words soothed her. “So, you letting me go? My tire went off the shoulder, that’s all. I’m fine.” Jolly Mill, a five hour drive from Sikeston, seemed as far away as the moon right now. “If Emma reaches Nick and he sees the family resemblance in person—”
“You can’t stop her now.” He patted her arm. “Maybe it’s time she knew—”
“Don’t even say it.”
“As her sister, you may not be able to control her, but if she knows you’re her birth mother and that you love her like a mother loves a child—”
“That’s the last thing she needs. You know how tender her heart is. The shock would break it all over again, especially with this question about murder hanging in the air.”
“If not now—”
Sarah held a hand up. “I’ve been living this fiction since I was her age. For her sake I have to keep it up at least until she’s strong enough to handle reality again.”
John gave a heavy sigh. “At least let me find Nick’s number and call him for you.”
That was tempting. Talking to Nick after all these years and with such a connection hanging between them from their past—and one he knew nothing about—would be hard. But right now Emma’s safety was Sarah’s only concern. “I’ll call him. We were once the best of friends. Can you find the number for Edward Tyler for me?”
John gave her a salute and quickstepped back to the cruiser as Sarah allowed her thoughts to dwell on Nick—something she’d stopped doing when she heard of his marriage seven years ago—and continued after Mom shared that his wife divorced him. Had it really been nearly seventeen years since she’d seen Nick? She’d cried most of the way across the state the day they left Jolly Mill. She’d had no reason to believe that she carried a child inside her—Nick’s child. It had to be. The very reason she’d sought Nick out that night was to tell him how she really felt about him, that their friendship had blossomed into something so much more powerful….
Over the years, she’d often imagined Nick’s dark, soul-filled eyes in his daughter’s face. She’d also seen his and his father’s cleft chin. Hadn’t she? Would they see their own features in Emma when she showed up on their front porch? Mom had sent Aunt Peg pictures of all of them throughout the years, but Nick had left Jolly Mill for premed as soon as he graduated. Sarah’s only chance to get through this with no one being the wiser was that Nick couldn’t possibly recall that long-ago night any better than she did—or even as well as she did.