“Maybe I ignored the signs because of how bad I wanted him to love me.”
“You did,” he says matter-of-factly as he hands me a tissue. “But it’s cool. I’m glad you did it. For the first time, you put yourself out there, and I’m proud of you.”
My lips quirk. “You are?”
“Yeah, and I’m going to be even prouder of you when you get up and go eat something. Face Mom and Dad.”
I sigh. I’ve done a damn good job hiding out in my room. The boys have been bringing me dinner, and neither parent has said anything. I think they needed the time to cool off, and I needed the time to mourn. I swallow hard once more and get up slowly. “Are they in the kitchen?”
“Yup. Dad is begging Mom to make some fried chicken and corn bread for dinner, but you know, we’re still not being fed carbs around here.”
We all miss carbs. Desperately. I’m pretty sure that’s why Shelli moved out. Not because she was engaged and all that jazz but because we weren’t being fed carbs. There are no carbs in the house. Not even simple carbs. I mean, can I get a damn potato? I’m still unsure what the damn potato did to my mom, but it is banned from our house until further notice.
I head out of the room, and once I hit the hall, I can hear my father. “Elli, baby. I’m dying. I am a man. I need the carbs! Simple or complex. I’ll take them all.”
“Shea, the sugar is killing us! It is causing cancer. It messes with your glucose.”
My father groans at this. “I said simple ones, Elli. Just give me some potatoes. Anything.”
“No, Shea, I am taking care of our family. Carbs are the devil!”
“At one time, you told me calories were the devil. I’m so fucking tired of diets and counting calories. Everything is causing cancer, Elli. Hell, if I’m going down, let me go down full of carbs and happiness. And please, the same goes for you, because I love your round ass, and I don’t want it to change. Eat some fucking carbs, please. Come on, we can get fat and happy together.”
“Oh, easy for you to say. You can eat a whole cake and be good. I bake the cake and gain ten pounds. No. We need to stay strong.”
“Elli. Come on, I’ll take you to PF Chang’s.”
When I enter the kitchen, I see that my mom is ready to fight back. For as long as I can remember, my mom has been dieting. She has a thyroid disease that makes life hard for her. I have the same one, and I struggle too. Though, growing up, she never made me diet. She never limited me, and at every turn, she told me how gorgeous and perfect I am. Though, I think watching her struggle with her weight and each episode of sickness made me more attuned to my own issues and caused me to be more careful. I know what foods trigger my thyroid, and I stay clear of them. But man, if fried chicken and corn bread don’t sound damn good. With hot sauce.
Mmm.
When my mom sees me and her lips come together, gone are thoughts of food. My dad’s back is to me, and when he turns, his shoulders fall as his brows come in. It’s my mom who speaks first. “Well, nice to see you out of your room.”
I nod, wringing my fingers as my dad says, “And that awful song not playing.”
My lips twitch as I draw in a deep breath through my nose. When I look up, they’re both watching me. “Um, I’m really sorry. I made a bad choice, and it won’t happen again. I’ll pay you back ASAP for the plane ticket.”
My mom’s arms wrap around her body as she nods slowly. “This is so unlike you.”
“I know.”
“If you’d asked, talked to me, Posey love, I would have flown you there myself.”
My dad whips his head to her. “What the hell? Why?”
“Because she needed to see for herself that he didn’t love her the way she loved him,” she says, coming to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. She kisses my temple, and I lean into her. “She always would have wondered if he did if she hadn’t thrown herself out there. Which is good. I’m so happy you wanted to take the chance.” I look over at her, and her eyes burn into mine. “I hate the way you did it, but I’m glad you did.”
“I wanted to do something impulsive and romantic, I guess.”
Mom gives me a small smile. “I know. With Shelli’s engagement, Amelia’s wedding, and then Maxim being traded, I can see that. But honey, he wasn’t the right one to do that for. He really wasn’t.”