I hurried around the corner of the building and saw his figure marching up the path that cut along the grassy cliff top behind the bookstore.
“Roane!” I shouted, my voice thrown backward by the sea breeze.
Shadow, however, heard me and hurried to me, causing Roane to halt and look back. His shoulders tensed at my approach. “You should be with Caro,” he said.
I reached out for his hand as soon as I drew to a stop. “You should be with Caro.”
He tugged on his hand but I refused to let go. He scowled. “Evie, just let me be.”
“So you can brood and beat yourself up with guilt and self-condemnation?”
Roane’s dark eyes flashed with surprise.
My smile was an unhappy one. “Yeah, I know what’s going on in your head right now, and I won’t let you mentally berate yourself. No one shits on my friends. Not even themselves.”
His lips twitched, but the sound of my name that followed was pained.
Without thinking, I threw my arms around him, drawing him tight, holding him as close to me as I could get him. “You are not to blame for what happened to her.”
Roane fisted my shirt in his hands, his embrace a vise, close to bruising. “I knew it was bad. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know it was that bad and I should have known, Evie. I should have known. I failed her.”
I pressed my lips to his ear. “You didn’t fail her,” I whispered, squeezing him to emphasize my point. “You were wonderful today. You make her feel safe. And right now she’s probably in that apartment thinking you’re pissed that you had to do what you had to do. She doesn’t know this reaction is guilt because it hasn’t even occurred to her that you could possibly have anything to feel guilty about.” I pulled back to clasp his face in my hands, his beard tickling my palms. “Because you have nothing to feel guilty about. And I will tell you that until I’m blue in the face or for however long it takes to sink in.”
He gripped my waist, his brows drawn together, his expression fierce. It felt like forever that he just stared at me.
Finally, I smoothed my hands down his neck to his hard chest and gave him an affectionate pat. “Come back. Hug your cousin. And then later we’ll all eat out to celebrate today. Because it is a day of celebration.”
After searching my gaze, Roane finally came to a decision. He nodded, releasing me, and I gestured for us to walk back to the store. The path was single track, so I started walking ahead.
“Evie.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Roane, stopping at his pensive expression. When he drew up to me, his gaze searched my face again, and then he almost sounded like he was pleading when he said, “I wish you’d do something to make me like you a little less.”
For a moment he looked and sounded so young, it made my breath catch.
With that heart-flipping comment, he brushed past me, he and Shadow striding on ahead.
As I followed him, butterflies fluttered in my belly as it occurred to me Roane Robson was mine for the taking if I wanted him.
Rattled but determined to stay true to myself, I pondered the idea of putting distance between Roane and me.
That would certainly make him like me less.
Except I couldn’t do it today. Not with everything going on with Caro. However, if I was to stay in Alnster for another three months, it might be better for both Roane’s and my hearts if we saw each other a little less.
The mere thought made me feel panicked and restless.
Thirteen
With tourists descending upon the Northumberland Coast in higher numbers now that it was summer, I’d asked Viola to call her mom to reserve a table at the pub. It was a good thing too. Viola had left just before dinnertime to help her parents out, and when we walked in later that night, the place was packed. Viola and Milly waved at us from behind the bar at the exact same time, in the exact same way, making me smile.
“Usual table,” Milly called to us, and I let Roane steer us through the heaving dining room to a table near the unlit fireplace. There was a couple seated at the one closest to it, but Shadow didn’t care. Even without a fire in the grate, Shadow promptly took his place sprawled in front of it, making the couple laugh.
I smiled at Roane, who just rolled his eyes as he, Caro, and I took our seats at the larger table against the back wall.
It had been a weird day.
After Roane had returned to the apartment with me and he and Caro had disappeared into her bedroom for a chat, things were easier between the cousins. However, Roane had work to do and took off for a few hours. He’d left Shadow with us since the dog was offering so much comfort to Caro, and Viola and I sought to find a way to distract our friend from the magnitude of the day.