Habits that had almost killed her.
“It looks wonderful,” she said. “I promise to eat every bite. Are there any more cookies?”
“There are!” Esperanza said, her face brightening.
“I’ll take some of those this afternoon after my siesta.”
“Muy bíen!” Esperanza shuffled back into the house, leaving Serafia alone on the patio.
She knew she should change out of her wet workout clothes, but she didn’t care. She knew that she needed to eat. Now. Voices in her head be damned.
She started with one of the cookies for good measure. It dropped into her empty stomach like lead, reminding her to take it slow. Her doctors had warned her about starving herself, then binging. That was another, all new, dangerous path she was determined not to take.
Nibbling on the cheese and bread, she started to feel better. She knew that her body paid a high toll for her anorexia. As she was driven to exercise and ignore all the food she could, it made her feel terrible. Even this small amount of food made the difference. Picking up her fork and pouring some of the vinaigrette over the salad, she speared a bite and chewed it thoughtfully.
All this was in marked contrast to the way she’d felt in Alma. For some reason, her past worries had slipped away as she focused on preparing Gabriel to be king. Perhaps it was because he thought she was so beautiful, even with the extra pounds she resented. He worshipped every inch of her body in bed, never once stopping to criticize or comment on her flaws. That made her feel beautiful. When they ate together, it was a fun, enjoyable experience. She was too distracted by the good food and even better company to worry about the calories. There were a few days in Alma where she’d even forgotten to exercise. Before that, she hadn’t missed a day of exercise in years. When she was with Gabriel, she’d been able to stop fighting with her disease and simply live.
She had been doing so well, and the minute it was yanked away from her, the negative thoughts came rushing back in. She couldn’t do this. If there was one thing she’d learned in the years since her heart attack, it was that she loved herself too much to keep hurting herself.
Reaching for a slice of bread with cheese, she took a large bite, then another, and another, until her lunch was very nearly gone.
She couldn’t allow loving Gabriel to undo all the progress she’d made.
* * *
The report on Gabriel’s lap told him what he already knew in his heart, but somehow, seeing the words in black-and-white made him feel that much more like the ass he was.
Hector had done as he’d asked. His people in the press office had reached out to the author of the scathing article on the Espinas. It hadn’t taken much pressure for him to reveal that he’d been approached by Felicia Gomez. He admitted that while the historical portions of the article were researched and fact-checked, the insinuations of Serafia’s nefarious intentions were purely speculation based on Felicia’s suggestions. It didn’t mean that her family didn’t help overthrow the Montoros, but in the end, that really didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was that Serafia was innocent of all those charges.
He knew it. He knew it when he’d read the article the first time and he knew it when he’d thrown accusations at Serafia and watched her heart break right before his eyes. He’d been humiliated. Angry. He’d lashed out at her because he’d allowed his own fears to rule his life and publically embarrass him. It was easier to blame her in the moment than face the fact that he’d done this to himself.
Gabriel felt awful about the whole thing. Serafia had been the only person in his life he thought he could trust, and yet he’d turned around and abused her trust of him at the first provocation. It made him feel sick.
He needed to do something to fix this. Right now.
Looking up from his report, he spied Luca walking down the hallway past his office. “Luca, can you find out if the Montoro jet is still in Alma?”
Luca nodded and disappeared down the hallway.
Gabriel took a deep breath and resolved himself to his sudden decision. He didn’t entirely have his plan together, but he knew he needed to get out of Alma to make this happen. That meant getting on a plane. Serafia had returned to Barcelona. He was certain she wouldn’t answer his calls if he tried, and anyway, he knew in his heart that they needed to have a conversation in person. The only catch would be whether or not the jet was here. His father had sent for Bella to come to Alma. Gabriel wasn’t sure what day that was happening, but if the jet was with her in Miami, he’d have to find another way to get to Serafia. Could a prince fly coach?
He didn’t care if he was crammed in a middle seat at the back of the plane, he had to get to her. Saying he was sorry wasn’t enough. He needed to follow that up with how he felt about her. It had taken losing her for him to get in touch with how he truly felt. There was nothing quite like waking up and realizing he was in love and he’d just ruined everything.