“What’d they say?”
“They are still arguing about everything.”
“Like what?”
“Whether I can I marry you, whether a royal wedding would be the PR coup of the year, whether I’m an embarrassment,” he said.
“You’re not an embarrassment,” she said, taking a deep breath.
“My cousin Juan Carlos would disagree with you on that score. But none of that matters. I know I promised you time to make a decision but I do need your answer now, Red. Will you marry me? Be my partner on the throne in Alma?”
She bit her lower lip. Hesitating as she warred between what she knew was right for Rafe and what she’d started to believe she could have for herself. But he’d nailed it when he said they weren’t sure he could marry her. She wouldn’t be the reason he was ostracized from his family. She wouldn’t be the reason he had to give up being king.
Her stomach roiled and she was afraid she was going to be sick again, but then realized it was nerves, not morning sickness. She took another deep breath.
Rafe cursed and gave her a hard look.
“Seriously?”
“I can’t marry you,” she said. “While I’m sure that Alma is a lovely place, I can’t imagine living there.”
“It is lovely. You can have your own bar and do whatever you like once you are there.”
“We both know that’s not true. And I can’t ask you to choose between me and the throne. I won’t be the reason you aren’t king, and there is a very real possibility of that happening. You’d resent me.”
He shoved his hands in his hair and turned away from her.
She knew she’d made the right choice, but it hurt way more than she expected. “I know you’ll support our child, but I’ll be okay raising him or her on my own. I think I’ll be good at that.”
“I bet you do,” he said, turning back around to face her. “No one there to interfere with any of your decisions.”
“Don’t get like that with me, Rafe. You know this is the only smart decision.”
He stalked over to her and she realized he was truly mad at her. She’d done the noble thing. She was sacrificing her love and her dream of a family for him.
“I only know that you’ve hesitated from the moment you learned about our baby to involve me in your life. You keep pushing me away. I have given you space and tried to let you have the time you needed to see that we should be together. I know I seem angry. Hell, I am angry, but I really feel like you are making a mistake.”
“And I know that you are. There is no world where you and I get to be together and raise this baby as we want to. I don’t want our child to be raised with a bunch of rules on how to behave. You know that would happen. And I’m not good at conforming to them myself. It would be a constant headache.”
“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“No.”
“Fine. Go ahead and leave. You’re good at being on your own. You said your mother let you be independent, but it’s more likely that you pushed her away so you’d feel nice and safe with only yourself to be concerned over.”
His words were mean and cut her to the core.
“You’re just a spoiled man who can’t handle the fact that he’s not going to get his way in all things. That’s what this is about. Not me or the baby, but you and your pride. They said you can’t have me and the throne so you’re trying to shove that down their throats. And to what end?” she demanded.
“Spoiled? You wrote the book on that, Red. I think you’re describing yourself and not me. Normal couples, the ones you’re always going on about, trust each other, depend on each other. And have each other’s backs. They don’t give themselves halfway to a relationship to try to keep from getting hurt the way you do. You don’t care about anything or anyone other than yourself.”
“Well, if that’s how you feel I’m surprised you asked me to marry you.”
“As you said, I just wanted to have it all. Make you mine for some ulterior motive. Never because I cared about you or wanted a family of my own.”
She was too angry to listen as she stormed past him out of the sculpture garden and out of his life. But later she’d remember his words and cry.
Because at the end of the day, all she really wanted was to have a family with him.
Thirteen
Rafe watched Emily go and he was so angry that he didn’t even contemplate going after her. Instead he thought sarcastically that at least his family would be happy. They wouldn’t have to worry about him marrying a commoner any more.