He listened to Jack Johnson sing about waking up and making banana pancakes together. Pretending the world outside didn’t exist. And Rafe wanted that. But then as the days went by and he met more people in Alma he started to see how much the country needed him, or at least his family, here, too. Rafe guessed they were all so relieved to have the monarchy back.
After years under a dictator he understood that. It was sort of how he’d felt when he’d turned eighteen and left his father’s house. He had acted like a wild man in college for about three months before he realized that he wanted his life to be about more than tabloid headlines. So he’d gotten serious and proven to himself that he could stand outside of his father’s shadow and still be a part of the family.
“Hey, big brother,” Bella said, coming up behind him and linking her arm through his. He pulled his earbuds out and smiled down at his baby sister. She’d really thrived in Alma and had an affinity with the people here that bordered on mutual admiration. For the Montoros, and Juan Carlos in particular, it was as if they’d come home. They were a part of Alma and Juan Carlos was busy bringing them back into the fold. There was sincere joy in all of them at being here. Even Rafe. Though he was torn, with his love of Miami and his lover in Key West.
“Hello, Bella. What’s up?”
She led him to one of the wrought iron benches nestled next to a flowering jasmine bush and sat down. He sat down next to her and looked at his sister for the first time in days. She smiled easily.
“You seem distracted lately and I’m going to do the meddling kid sister thing and ask why.”
“I’m trying to figure out how to be royal after years of being so ordinary,” he said. It was his pat answer, and he’d been saying it to himself for so long that when he finally heard it out loud he realized how hollow the words were.
Maybe Bella wouldn’t notice.
“Yeah, right,” she said. “I’d think you’d have a better excuse than that.”
He wasn’t in the mood to discuss this with her and started to get up. But she stopped him with her hand on his sleeve.
“I think you have someone back home,” she said. “A woman who isn’t from here and can’t fit into this world.”
“I have a lot of women back home,” he said.
“Lying to me is one thing,” she said with that honesty that made him feel exposed. “But lying to yourself is something else. If you have a woman, then marry her. Then take the throne.”
If it were as simple as that he’d do it. But he knew from the meetings he’d been in that a smooth transition was needed. He was expected to marry someone who’d strengthen the Montoros’ claim to the throne. Someone who’d make the people of Alma and its enemies believe that the restored monarchy would be around for a long time. That they were the only ones who could return Alma to its former glory.
And a bartender from Key West who didn’t know who her father was wasn’t going to be approved by the committee.
“Thanks, Bella, but it’s not that simple,” he said.
“It is if you know what you want.”
He realized anew that he was lost. Hearing his little sister boil down his problems and come up with a solution was humbling. But he couldn’t do what she suggested. He hadn’t even seen Emily since he’d learned he was going to be a father. Their daily calls were great, but he needed to hold her in his arms again. Look into her eyes and see what, if anything, she felt for him.
Aside from lust. Sex between them had been raw and electric since the moment they’d met, and now he had to figure out if what he felt for her was more than that. Was he just using her as an escape to get away from the mantle of kingship that he didn’t want? And he really didn’t want it.
Because if he did it would be easier to make a decision about Em. Force her to take some money from him and set her and the baby up and then keep his distance. But he wanted more than that.
“I...thank you,” he said.
“For what? I didn’t say anything that you don’t already know for yourself. Tell me what’s going on.”
He shook his head. “You’ve done enough.”
“I have?”
“Yes. I just needed to hear someone else say it. I’ve been afraid of screwing up and embarrassing the family so I’ve stopped being myself. I’ve been trying to be regal and we both know I’m not.”
She laughed and punched his shoulder. “You’re not succeeding at being regal. I saw you roll your eyes when the Gomezes mentioned what beautiful babies you and Dita would have.”
“I thought I showed a lot of restraint by not mentioning that the babies would probably be born with a tail and cloven hooves.”