She had been accepted, the week before, on a full ride to the University of Colorado. I always knew that she was destined to get out and do something amazing, and I couldn’t have been more damn proud of her if I tried. But still – still, there was a part of me that knew what she was going to ask before she came out with it.
"What are you going to do?” she asked, trailing her fingers lazily over my chest.
"What do you mean?”
"You know what I mean," she replied, rolling her eyes at me playfully. "After high school. Where are you going to go?”
I didn’t reply for a moment. I wasn’t sure what she expected me to say. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I knew that she might not have believed me, even if I did. I had to keep it under wraps. For then. Maybe forever.
"I don’t know," I lied. "I haven’t decided yet."
"Well, you’re going to have to get there soon," she teased me lightly. "You’re going to get left behind if you don’t get a move on."
"I’ll figure it out," I replied vaguely. I knew she wasn’t going to take that for an answer. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked at me, her ponytail bouncing in the sunlight behind her.
"You should apply for some writing courses," she remarked. "You’re so good with that stuff. You could totally get into a university to study it."
"Yeah, maybe."
"You know you could," she remarked, and she eyed me – there was that look, the confusion, the doubt. I loved her, but there were things that I couldn’t tell her, and she was too smart not to notice it.
I tucked my hand behind her head and drew her in close to me, so close that our lips were almost touching. I could feel her breath coming a little faster and I brushed my nose against hers.
"I’m so proud of you," I murmured, and I closed the distance between us, kissed her properly. She sank into the kiss, letting her hands roam across my bare chest. The feeling of her skin against mine was enough to light up something in my chest, and I pulled her top of me.
She wound her arms around me and held me tight, and I gripped her waist as I kissed her hard. Her tongue met mine, and that fire that burned in my belly whenever we were close to each other lit up, came to life for good. I moved my hand to her hair, holding it tight, and she let out the softest little moan against my lips, telling me that she wanted this, that she wanted this as badly as I did...
And then, she pulled back, smiling at me. She knew what was on my mind. Same thing that was on hers.
"Prom night," she murmured softly. "Remember?”
"I remember," I groaned, wrapping my arms around her and letting her rest her head on my shoulder. It wasn’t that much longer to wait, but in that moment, it felt like a lifetime.
And it feels like a lifetime has passed again in the time since I last saw her.
Now, she hurries out of the hall, and I find myself moving after her before I can think twice about it. I know that she likely doesn’t want to see me right now, but I didn’t come all this way for nothing.
I can feel eyes on me. I don’t care. I am here to talk to one person and I am not leaving until I do.
Outside of the hall, it feels quiet – too quiet. I look around, trying to work out where she might have gone. And then, I hear footsteps around the corner and follow them.
And there she is. Bailey. Standing next to our old block of lockers, facing away from me, her head tilted down, like she’s catching her breath. I take a step towards her, reach out to touch her back.
She spins around at once, her eyes widening as they land on me. Her lips part, and it takes everything I have not to kiss her in that moment.
But I hold back. And she only has one thing to ask me.
"Why?”
5
Bailey
Standing this close to him again makes my heart hurt, my head spin. I can’t stop thinking about everything that we went through, and how much I wish I could just forget all the ways that he hurt me and let myself melt against him once more.
"Why what?" he asks me.
I snort, not amused. "You know what I’m asking," I shoot back. " What happened?"
He looks away from me. I know that he is trying to come up with an answer. And suddenly, everything that I have been trying to contain all this time suddenly comes flooding out of me.