She squared her shoulders. “I had hoped I would have gotten with child…and then maybe we could wed. But I have decided I will not come to your bed again.”
Her face blushed with furious color and he could only stare at her amazed. His heart clamored. He did not forget how careless he had been, how he had lost his head the minute she had tempted him in the cabin. “Are you with child?”
She swallowed. “It is too soon to tell.”
He raked his fingers through his hair and gave her an incredulous stare. “So are you telling me, Sheridan, the reason you climbed in my bed at the cabin was in hope you would get pregnant, so I would marry you?”
She frowned. “I was hoping to seduce you into offering marriage, but I have since realized a child could have been created.”
He could not help himself, he started to laugh. “And you are telling me this now, because you want me to trust you?”
“Yes…I only want honesty between us.”
She stared back with an earnestness that baffled him.
“Since we are going for honesty, Sheridan, I do not want a child. I take full responsibility for my recklessness in the cabin. But if you were to become with child…you would be going east or back to London to rear him or her in a safer environment. Never would I allow you to remain in the West. That would be the surest way to lose this land you are determined to hold onto.”
She shifted, unfolding her legs and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. He had expected her to spit fire at him at his statement; instead she looked at him with curiosity and understanding.
“And would you come with me?”
His eyes dipped to her stomach and a jolt of pure fear tore through him. He buried it deeply and strove to present a calm façade. It would not do for her to know how much their conversation was rattling him. He wanted to run from it. Would he have gone with her? Hell. He would marry her if she was pregnant and he prayed to God he didn’t have to. Not because he was stupid.
He heard the distant cry in his head. The scream of his son, and it was the hardest thing for him to sit there and present an unaffected mien. “I would come with you.”
The smile she gave him almost blinded him. He would never understand her.
“I hope I am not with child either.” She shifted closer to him and the sweet scent of lilac mixed with jasmine drifted to his nostrils. “For I know you love the land…as much as I do…And this is where we belong.”
A deep part of Elijah agreed. He could never imagine leaving the land. It was in his blood.
“Why?”
He had been expecting it, surprised at her easy acceptance of his resolve to never have a child. Her face only showed patience and he wondered what she knew. “Why what, Sheridan?”
She hesitated then looked away from him guilty. She was aware of some of his history if not all. Miguel. He could have been the only person to speak with her. Elijah waited, curious to see if she would lie to him, if she would pretend ignorance. He waited on her response, the wails of his son rising in his mind.
Relief pulsed through him when she smiled slightly. “Another day, Elijah. I will ask another day.”
Perhaps he was a coward for not pressing, but he was comfortable with another day. Perhaps too comfortable. His hand curled into the grass at the edge of the blanket and pulled up a tuft of grass. The scent of earth and moist air wrapped around his senses. He found he liked the interlude. Too damned much. He should insist they return to the main house, but he wanted to lose himself in the simple pleasure of having a picnic overlooking the beauty of their land.
***
Thunder rumbled in the distance and Sheridan prayed it would not rain. The tentative truce between her and Elijah filled her with pleasure. Instead of being snarling and angry, he seemed more contemplative, and at peace. He had yet to mention her leaving Whispering Creek and she was grateful for it, and he was listening to her apology. He took the plate she handed him. “Thank you.”
She nodded and they ate in silence for a few minutes.
“Jericho has someone watching the range.”
Sheridan snapped her head around scanning the prairie. “Are you certain?”
“Yes…I saw a flicker of light last night and I rode out this morning to look at the tracks. At least two men camped a few miles from the main creek. Only Jericho would send them.”
She took a deep gulp of the wine. “How do we deal with it? Please do not say I should leave, me running is not the solution.”
“Fighting isn’t either.” He raised the flask of water and took several swallows.
She followed the strong column of his jaw and watched as his throat worked. She wanted to kiss him. She almost acted on the impulse to lean in and press her lips to his. She wanted to grip his hair and just run her hand through its thick sable.