“And in the ensuing years, he has treated me with chilling civility and nothing more.”
Sympathy filled Georgiana’s eyes. “I never knew.”
“I was too ashamed for anyone to know how empty my marriage really was. He did not beat me, nor did he limit my allowance and the lavish lifestyle I chose to hide my turmoil beneath when he had all the power to do so. But I’ve been so lonely, Georgie. Six years, and now he wants to waltz in and demand my compliance with what he wishes.” Her throat went tight. “I cannot ignore the desires I have in my heart just because he decrees it to be so.”
“And his secrets will give you that which you need?”
“Perhaps.”
“Your husband has a formidable reputation, Daphne. I would hate to see you injured.”
Do you not love me?
Don’t be a silly twit, sentiment has nothing to do with our union and it never will.
She closed her eyes briefly against the memory of their exchange the day after their disastrous wedding night when she had been determined to understand what was happening. “He cannot pretend to love me, nor I him.”
“And if he loved you?”
She stared at her friend. “It does not signify.” Yet there was a frightful surge of longing in her heart.
“I doubt Lord Carrington would ever consent to a divorce. The scandal would be horrendous. I do not see him even taking such steps if you uncover what matters to him most.”
She made a hopeless gesture. “Even if I made a fool of him?”
“Good heavens, whatever do you mean?”
“I intend to procure a lover. One that I will flaunt to the ton. All of society would know, and my husband would be forced to act.”
“I do not know if your plan has merit or if you are acting foolishly,” Georgiana said, appearing truly shocked. “Carrington is not a man to trifle with, Daphne. Surely you would like to have children, and that is what he is offering you. Perhaps tender sentiments will come after.”
Longing filled Daphne’s heart. “I am three and twenty. I am certain there will be time after.” Though there had been a time when she had envisioned a son with black hair and green eyes, and a daughter with similar delightful features. “It will not be easy, but I must do something. I would fail myself and my heart several times over if I did not try and instead relented at the very first sign of his resistance. To stay in such a cold marriage would be disastrous to my happiness.”
“Pray do not believe I am unfeeling, my dear Daphne, but you may have little choice. That is the way of the world in which we reside. We ladies do not get to shape it, though we have the wit and intelligence to do so. Until that time, I fear we must bend to it,” Georgiana said gently.
A notion Daphne vehemently rejected.
“Your earl is ruthless enough that no one would dare cross him and aid you in the ruination of your reputation to force his hand.”
She took a deep breath. “I…have you heard of Madame Salome?”
Georgiana’s eyes widened. “Daphne, you would not dare!”
“Then you have heard of her?”
“She arranges liaisons of all sorts, and she is known to set lovers together. My husband tells me much about the world he lives in, but where did you hear of Salome’s notoriety?”
Daphne flushed, taking a delicate sip of her brandy. Months ago, she had overheard a few ladies discussing the madam’s services. They hadn’t realized Daphne had been in the library, lying on the chaise lounge, stealing some quiet before she would return to the card rooms where she had lost an alarming amount playing whist. “Do you believe your husband could arrange a meeting?”
Georgiana looked horrified. “And then what?”
“I’ll ask her to arrange a very discreet liaison. Then we will make it known that Lady Carrington used her services.”
“Will you actually have a night of passion, or is the impression of impropriety all you seek?”
Daphne lifted her chin stubbornly. “My husband is not a fool. I am committed to a night of indiscretion.”
Her friend nodded, sympathy glowing in her eyes. “I’ll ask Rhys to make all the arrangements. When it is done, I will send you instructions.”
“Thank you,” Daphne said softly.
“No gratitude is necessary. You are my dearest friend.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on gossip, and Daphne visited Georgiana’s delightful daughter in the nursery. She was only a few months old but unmatched in beauty and wit, as her mother had declared several times. Daphne had tacitly agreed.
An hour later, the elegantly appointed carriage rumbled along the cobbled road taking her home, which would no longer appear dull since her husband was in residence. The entire atmosphere seemed to change whenever he was home. Even the staff seemed more energetic and happier, and Daphne reluctantly admitted she also found herself more at ease. Once she had anticipated dining with him, possibly crossing wits and retiring to their chambers or sitting in the library before a roaring fire, each to their own devices or reading to each other. She had been so certain he would eventually relent and allow her closer. But her husband had had the amazing capacity to stare right through her.
A lump grew in her throat as she forced herself to consider his offer. A child, perhaps several, and intimacy within their marriage. Oh, how she had wanted to turn into his embrace last night and offer herself up to his ravishment. The diabolical fiend. And how irritating that he made her want him, with so little effort on his part. But what had he truly offered her? Certainly not a life of happiness where she would be secured in the love and affection of her husband. Possibly he would visit her bed a few times until he got his heir and spare, and then what?
More loneliness. Sylvester had all the power, and she had endured feeling helpless for so many years. No longer did she desire to be caged by the will of a man who had never proven himself consistent in their relationship with anything but his indifference.
Only the promise of love could ever entice Daphne to consider her husband’s overtures, and she doubted the man was even acquainted with the concept.
For so long she had been lonely, and empty, and so unhappy. The ray of hope had only arrived when she’d plotted to move on with her life. Now he had decided they would have a normal marriage, at the cost of whatever she wanted. Daphne knew it was the way of the world that men were the ultimate deciders of women’s fates, whether they be wives or daughters. But in this instance, she would fight to be in control of her own future—an extraordinary, if not impossible, feat—but she had to try.