The realization stabbed through his heart, pained Alexander, and filled him with such desolation, his hands trembled. The abyss of loneliness loomed once more, somehow darker than ever, corrupting the peace he’d just found in her smile.
“Leave me!” he said, his voice harsher than he’d intended.
Her response was a resounding silence. Then without questioning him, she opened the door and left, and it was as if the light and warmth that had permeated the library had been sucked into a black void.
Alexander wheeled his chair to the closed door and pressed his palm flat against the oak.
Damn his foolish heart for beginning to crave what could never be.
Chapter Thirteen
Dinner that night was a lavish affair his kitchen staff accomplished with little notice. They evidently wanted to impress Miss Danvers, and she did not disappoint their expectations, relishing each course placed before her and sending her compliments to the cook. She ate with obvious delight and appreciation of the dishes.
Alexander recalled the dainty and graceful bites his fiancée and previous female acquaintances had used to consume their meals. At the time he had believed them to be so delicate and refined, but now only a cynical amusement at their ridiculousness invaded his senses. Pleasure filled him that Miss Danvers was not at all perturbed by her enthusiasm as she demolished each dish. She tilted her head, and the elegant slope of her neck begged to be teased with his lips and teeth.
When she noted he stared, she winked before glancing away.
Her daring oddity was vastly appealing to his jaded and lonely senses. In the few hours she’d been at his castle, a subtle transformation had infused his servants. The footmen moved with more pride, their chests pushed out; the maids seemed eager to attend to Miss Danvers, inquiring after her comfort frequently. They beamed at even one kind word from Miss Danvers and seemed far too interested in every glance and uncertain smile that passed between him and his guest. Alexander was amused by it all, but he did not miss how greedily everyone seemed to bask in her presence.
Especially Penny.
“Have you ever ridden astride in London, Miss Danvers?” Penny asked laughingly. “I daresay a lady of your daring and ingenuity would not hesitate to do so.”
Katherine laughed, and the sound clutched at his heart.
“I declare the most outrageous thing I have ever done”—she dabbed her lips demurely with the serviette, but her eyes sparkled with such wickedness—“was agree to become your brother’s fiancée.”
This bit of mockery seemed to delight his impudent sister, who snorted. “I’ve heard that the Royal Museums are just wonderful. Alexander has told me so much about them.”
“Have you never been to town?” Katherine asked with a frown.
A brief shadow crossed Penny’s face. “Not as yet, I’m afraid, but I do not long for it in any manner. Just curious sometimes.”
There was an echo of need in her tone, though she tried to mask it with a smile in his direction, as if she wanted to comfort him. It occurred to him once more that his sister needed to be out in society, mingling with other young ladies her age and social background. She asked Katherine dozens of questions: about the theater, Vauxhall, the museums, balls, and dances. And Katherine generously answered each query with admirable patience.
A dark feeling of shame washed over him. His sister needed a life beyond Scotland. The isolation he’d wrapped them in was impenetrable. They did not even allow the high society of Scotland into their home, and the neighbors had learned over the years not to call or send invitations to McMullen Castle.
The matter would be rectified, and very soon.
“Penny will be traveling to town,” he murmured. “Eugene will of course accompany his cousin.”
A silence fell over the table, and Eugene arched a sharp brow.
“To London!” Penny gasped, lowering her fork. “Are you to come with me?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I shall not leave you,” Penny said, her eyes flashing with defiance.
“You are not abandoning me,” he said with patience. “You are simply heading to town to visit with my godmother, Countess Darling, who will take you under her wing and show you the sights, take you shopping, introduce you to your society.”
“I do not care to leave you, Alexander, and you shall not make me!” Penny cried, her eyes wide with a pain he did not understand.
“Penny—”
“No. Not now. Please.”
He had not seen his sister appear this dejected in years. Not wanting to wound her further, he nodded. Penny squared her slim shoulders and lifted her chin bravely, but her lower lip trembled as his sister directed her attention to Katherine.