“I can believe you were promoted. You are a rock star,” Mandy said. I was lucky to have such a good friend like her. She always supported me and gave me an extra boost of confidence. Even when I was at my lowest.
“I am going to eat so many of these cookies,” Mandy continued. “I’ll be looking like Mrs. Clause sooner rather than later.”
“Mrs. Claus is a babe,” I laughed. “Screw all these standards that say we are supposed to be stick thin and eat salads. We can eat cookies and have curves. This is 2018.”
“You’re going to be great at this empowerment thing,” Mandy commented. “I love this side of you. I haven’t seen it in so long, I was beginning to think it was gone.”
In all honesty, I was beginning to think it was gone, too. I’d been sad and alone for so long that I’d started to think I would never smile again. Cayden changed all of that. I’d hoped to see him sometime this weekend, but I wasn’t sure of his schedule with Austin. He told me that he had a good support system with his family and his parents often watched Austin. I still hadn’t found out about his ex. Where was she? Had she run away from Austin and Cayden? I couldn’t imagine anyone doing that, but it wasn’t necessarily unheard of.
“Cayden has just really helped me feel good again,” I said. I grabbed my glass of wine and took a sip. It was true. My entire attitude was because of Cayden. He had helped me shed this negative vibe that I’d had since I was dumped by Brad. Brad. There he was again. I just couldn’t seem to let him go.
“What’s wrong?” Mandy asked. She was obviously reading my facial expressions and could tell that negative thoughts were creeping into my head. I shook my head, trying to avoid the subject, but she wouldn’t let up.
“I know that look,” she said. “You’re thinking about Brad, aren’t you?”
I hid my face in my hands. She knew me too well.
“I am,” I admitted. “But, not on purpose! He just seems to creep in my head whenever I’m thinking about Cayden. I don’t know what to do.”
Mandy transferred some of the cookie dough to a cookie sheet and sighed.
“I know what to do. Stop thinking about him. He was a complete asshole, Tiffany. He didn’t care about you. People don’t treat people they care about like shit. He was awful. How many times did you cry over something he had done? I mean, he cheated on you, for God’s sake,” she said.
She was right. He was an awful boyfriend and an even worse fiancé. He did nothing for my self-esteem. I’d spent more nights crying alone than I spent with him. When I did spend time with him, I was always stressed out that I would say or do something wrong. It was a vicious cycle. I deserved better. I deserved to be happy with someone like Cayden, but my past was holding me back.
Brad was such a critical part of my past. I often thought about the times before we dated. When we were just best friends. We would watch movies at his house or go to the beach together. Our families had even taken a vacation together. We were inseparable. With the loss of my father, I’d held on to Brad for longer than I should have.
“I’m just confused,” I admitted. “I really like Cayden. I just don’t want him to be a rebound.”
“A rebound?” Mandy asked. Now she was the one who was confused. “Why would he be a rebound? It’s been a year since Brad broke up with you. I think you’re past the rebound window.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I think I’m just mentally psyching myself out.”
“I think so, too,” Mandy said. “And you better stop it. Cayden seems like a great guy. You don’t need Brad ruining this for you. Brad isn’t even in Miami anymore. Stop letting him interfere with your life.”
I knew the words that were coming out of her mouth were the truth, but it still wasn’t easy to move on from Brad. Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I would ever be over Brad. First loves had a tendency of lingering longer than they should.
As our cookie making went on, I began to drink more and more wine. Eventually, my curiosity got the best of me and I began to type Brad’s name into my phone’s Facebook search. The last time I checked, his profile picture was a picture of him and Jessica at their gym. My mind just needed to see them together again to really drive home the fact that he had moved on.
To my surprise, his profile picture came up and it was only him. He looked great. Somehow, he had gotten even more attractive since we broke up. He was shirtless on the beach. His white teeth sparkled against his tan skin. My heart skipped a beat. If everything hadn’t gone south, he would have been my husband by now.
“What are you doing?” Mandy came up behind me. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what I was doing. I was caught red-handed. I turned off my phone and looked at her sheepishly.
“I just need to get over him, don’t I?” I asked, even though we both knew the answer. She nodded. I finished my glass of wine and began to help Mandy clean up. The last batch of cookies were in the oven. Our apartment smelled wonderful.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I looked at Mandy and she looked at me. Neither of us were expecting anyone.
“I’ll get it,” I said, wiping my hands on a dish towel. I walked toward the door, wondering who was coming over this late in the evening. I opened it up and was shocked to see Cayden standing there.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said. He stepped forward and kissed me softly.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. We hadn’t made any plans to see each other tonight. To be honest, we were both so busy at work that we had barely talked after my promotion meeting.
“Austin is at my mom’s tonight and I thought I would stop by and surprise you. Is that okay?” he asked. I nodded, although I wasn’t sure if I was okay with it, especially after the Brad thoughts that had been dancing through my mind all night.
“Are you guys baking in there?” Cayden asked. I realized that I hadn’t invited him in yet.
“Yes,” I said, opening the door wider. “Come in.”
He walked in the door and smiled.
“It smells like Christmas cookies in here,” Cayden said. Mandy peeked her head out of the kitchen.
“Hi, Cayden,” she said. “I’m Mandy!”
“Hey, Mandy,” Cayden said, taking off his shoes. We walked further into the apartment.
“We were having a girls’ night,” I explained. “We were making cookies and drinking some wine.”
“I really didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said. “I can go. I just wanted to stop by and say hello.”
“It’s fine,” Mandy said. “I was actually on my way out.”
She walked past us and grabbed her keys from the key holder. I knew she was lying. She had nowhere to go. She just wanted to leave us alone. Before I could protest, she was on her way out the door.
“Well,” I said, “I guess girls’ night is over.”
Cayden and I walked toward the kitchen, where I picked up my wine glass. Since I was caught off guard, I was suddenly nervous. I hadn’t expected to see him tonight. I’d planned on putting on my pajamas, drinking wine, and passing out in my bed alone.
“Those cookies smell delicious,” Cayden said. I took a sip of wine and set my glass down. I went over to the cooling rack and grabbed a cookie, then walked toward him.
“Open up,” I said. He did as he was told, and I put some of the cookie in his mouth. He chewed it and smiled, then leaned over and kissed me. I could taste the cookie crumbs on his lips.
“These cookies are fantastic,” he said. “Did you make those from scratch?”
“Mandy did,” I laughed. “She made them, and I drank wine.”
It was now Cayden’s turn to laugh.
“Still celebrating your promotion?” he asked. I nodded.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll be milking this for all it’s worth.”
“I don’t blame you,” Cayden said. “I’ll have to take you out to celebrate. I’m so happy for you, Tiffany. You really deserve this. It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.”