She whirled and disappeared through the doorway.
I raised a brow at Cade.
“Shit,” he chuckled. “I hope Magnus knows what he’s into with that one.”
“I doubt it,” I snorted.
“Ready to go get the girl?”
“I’ve never been more ready.”
Chapter 10
Ilana
I burst out of the side of the castle, the night air hitting me like a balm.
Don’t cry.
I refused to cry. I refused to give into the emotions raging through me. I’d lost, again. I’d given in, and believed the bullshit, and of course, I’d been wrong.
I’d followed what I hoped was my heart, only to be betrayed again.
Of course, two men like that weren’t after anything more than what I’d given so readily in that library. And I’d fallen for it hook, line, and sinker like a total freaking idiot.
I brushed through the gardens, still trying to keep the brimming tears from falling. I loved it out here — the high stone walls and the cover of the Japanese Maple and Cherry Blossom trees giving me cover, and secluding me away from all that bullshit.
I sighed as I slumped onto one of the stone benches, my hand clenching in my lap.
Maybe I needed to get away for a while — travel, do something to take my mind off of all this. I mean, what had happened had been amazing, and I knew then with a twinge of even more bitterness that no man would ever live up to even one of the Charmings, let alone both of them together, like I’d had.
Not a chance.
I’d never come like that before, and I knew no sex would ever compare to that. Which sucked, because I was never going to see them again.
“Ilana.”
My heart jumped into my throat at the sound of them. My eyes darted around the dark garden as I stood, heart thumping as I considered running, or hiding in the bushes or—
“Wait, please.”
I whirled. There they stood, the moonlight bathing them in light.
“Please,” Cade said quietly, his jaw tight. “Don’t run. Just stay and listen.”
I shook my head. “Why should I?”
A single tear burned the corner of my eye, just looking at them like this. God I hated that I’d been had like this.
“Stop,” Caspian shook his head. “Stop what you’re thinking, cause I can see it all over your face.”
“Look, sex is sex, okay?” I hissed. “I get it, alright? I get that—”
“What happened back there? With you and us?” Cade’s jaw tightened. “That was not just sex, not by a fucking mile.”
They moved towards me, and I took a step back.
“Ilana,” Cade whispered, his eye holding mine. “Listen to what we’re saying. You know we’re not lying.”
“Do I?”
“Yeah you do,” Caspian growled. “You know you do, because you know how we all click.”
I looked away, trying to will that single tear not to fall down my cheek.
It did anyways
“You talked to Emilia.”
I whirled back, the anger bubbling up. “Yeah, I did.”
“And you don’t think that maybe she had ulterior motives to fuck with us? With you?”
I shook my head. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying it’s all bullshit,” Caspian gritted out. “I’m guessing she saw us with you earlier, saw us all disappear, and put two and two together.”
“She’s a bitter, broken woman, Ilana,” Cade said softly.
“Choice words,” I spat. “Coming from the guys who almost married her.”
Caspian’s face darkened.
“She tell you that?” Cade hissed.
When I didn’t answer, he swore loudly into the darkness.
“I could laugh, except it’s not funny right now.” He shook his head. “No, Ilana, we never came close to marrying her. Us with her before?” He shook his head again. “It was never real. It was never even close to what we’ve found with you after one night.”
“It was a pale imitation of the girl we hadn’t found yet,” Caspian growled. “You.”
My heart tensed.
“Listen to what we're saying, please.” Cade’s eyes burned into mine as they moved towards me. This time, I didn’t move away.
“She said that shit to you to get to us. To fuck with us.”
“Why?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. She’s a bad person I guess.”
“But you know we’re not,” Caspian said, stepping forward. “You know we meant everything we said, and I know you know that.”
I looked down, feeling them move even closer.
“Ilana.”
I looked up, gasping at how much closer they were as I glanced up and lost myself in both of their eyes.
“I love you,” Cade whispered, reaching out with a hand and taking mine.
“And I love you,” Caspian said as well, taking my other hand. “We’ll never hurt you, ever.”
Cade shook his head. “We’ll never treat you as anything less than the love of our lives.”
I was on the edge. I wanted so badly to say yes, and fall into them, but I hesitated. And I knew why.
Fear.
I was scared of how I felt for them — how I felt for two men. What would people say? About them? About us? About this whole thing?”