I wanted to mean something.
I stayed on the couch and listened to his footsteps grow louder. His keys clanked against the table when he tossed them on the surface. His wallet gave a gentle thud when he dropped it. His footsteps sounded again as he walked through the kitchen and entered the living room.
And then he was there.
Staring at me.
He looked at me on the couch, his arms resting by his sides with a leather jacket over his shoulders. His expression was impossible to read, but one thing was for certain.
He knew.
I kept my legs crossed and wore the same brave face I hadn’t dropped. When Tristan was my captor, I never showed my fear. Cane wasn’t any different.
After what felt like minutes, he moved to the couch beside me. He didn’t touch me, didn’t grab me by the back of the neck. He rested his arms on his knees and stared at the floor. His sunglasses were still on, so he pulled them off and tossed them on the table.
I was still, not letting my breathing escalate. I kept calm even though I didn’t feel calm. I used to feel this tension whenever he was in the room, but it was for a completely different reason.
“Pearl told me you stopped by.” He spoke quietly, not raising his voice or darkening his tone. He faced the TV but didn’t look at it. His black watch was tight around his wrist, reflecting the flames in the hearth.
I didn’t say anything, knowing the statement didn’t need a response.
He sat back against the cushion but continued to face forward. “I was really angry, but both of them managed to talk me down.”
He must be referring to Crow.
“And I’ve come to the realization that they are right. Just because I’m not getting my way doesn’t mean I have the right to do this to you. If you were someone else and I didn’t care about you, that would be different. But since I…feel this way…it’s clouded my judgment. I used to be a horrible person, but I’m not that man anymore. That’s something I’m proud of…and I can’t go back.”
My heart finally relaxed as his confession swept over me. He didn’t see me as a prisoner anymore. He realized he’d lost himself in his emotions, and it was time to get back on track. I knew the Cane I adored was still in there, just buried under his sadness.
“I’ll take you back to South Carolina whenever you’re ready. Just tell me when.” He stared at his hands, massaging his knuckles and his wrist. The jacket was tight across the muscles of his back and arms. His sculpted thighs were tight in his jeans. When he was in all black, he looked particularly handsome.
I wanted to say something because I’d been silent the entire time. But words were difficult to form. I was relieved he found his way back to where he belonged. I knew he would crawl out of this hole eventually.
“But I want to know something.” He finally turned his head my way and locked his eyes on mine.
I felt a shiver up my spine when he looked at me that way, those green eyes burning into mine. His power was obvious in the look. He could make me feel so much and so little at the same time.
“I want to know exactly how you feel about me—the complete truth. Nothing you say will change my mind about returning you. I just want to know. I’ve been completely honest with you about the depth of my feelings, my love as well as my anger. I want the same from you.”
“The way I feel?” I whispered.
“About me,” he pressed.
I looked into his handsome features, the strong jaw as well as the hard expression on his face. His dark brown hair was soft even though it was short, and his slight stubble was growing thicker and darker by the hour. In just a few months, I’d come to know Cane in a way I’d never become acquainted with another man. He had a piece of me no one else would ever have. “When we first met, I felt something.”
“What?” he whispered.
“I don’t know. You seemed kind, handsome. When I saw you at the airport, I wished you were hitting on me in the past. Like, I was in a coffee shop on campus, and you decided to stop by for a chat. You were the kind of man I’d find attractive, despite how intimidating you were.”
Cane listened to me, his eyes trained on my face.
“When I was Tristan’s prisoner, he did horrible things to me. Not just him, other men did too. It was a terrible introduction to sex. It was painful and uncomfortable. No woman should have to go through it. And then when you came into that room, I wasn’t so scared. I knew if I said no, you would listen…and you did. You were a breath of fresh air in the middle of a landfill. You kissed me when no other man had touched me like that…and I really liked it. I thought it was strange I could feel good when all I’d felt until that moment was utter terror. And then you took me as a loan…and I was relieved.”