“He’s only angry because he loves you,” she whispered. “And he just wants you to love him in return.”
“I don’t know if I can do that…”
“You don’t have to force yourself to. You just have to not force yourself not to.”
“He’s a criminal, Pearl. I don’t think my parents would be thrilled with my choice of a partner. They’d make me see a psychiatrist.”
“No one in the world will ever understand what you went through besides you,” she said quietly. “So don’t listen to what other people think. Let them think you’re crazy. Doesn’t matter.”
“I’m just not sure if he’s what I want,” I whispered. “Like I said, I want a different kind of relationship.”
She looked at the ground for a moment before she looked up again. “Nobody is perfect. We all have skeletons in our closets. Cane is just more transparent about his than the rest of us.”
“He told me how he hurt you…”
“And he would never do something like that again—to anyone. He’s a much different man now than the one I first met. You’ve seen his transition yourself. He’s not even the same man as when you first laid eyes on him. When I returned to America and tried to get my life back together, I started seeing an old boyfriend. He was good, handsome, clean…everything I would have wanted in a boyfriend once upon a time. But it didn’t work. It didn’t fit. Every time I slept with him, all I could think about was Crow. He left a mark on me that I could never erase. I saw him as a dark and twisted man, but I realized I had become just as dark and twisted. Nothing could change that. That was how I was—forever. And that’s when I knew where I belonged.”
* * *
Cane undressed himself and left his pile of clothes on the floor. His ass was tight in his boxers, and his hard physique was chiseled as if he had been carved out of stone. He didn’t look at me now, just as he ignored me on the car ride home. “Why do you keep sleeping in here?” He turned to the bed and set his phone on the nightstand. “You can sleep down the hall.”
I was in his t-shirt and my panties. “I don’t want to sleep down the hall.”
His green eyes looked foreboding when they looked at me like that. Intense and angry, they were passionate with frustration. He tugged the blankets back and got into bed beside me. A fire burned quietly in the fireplace and brought a gentle glow to the room once Cane turned off the lamp.
He turned on his side and faced away from me.
I missed the way he used to wrap his body around mine. I missed the suffocation he used to bring to me. I missed his affection, his adoration. I inched to the center of the bed and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pressed a wet kiss to his shoulder, my tongue tasting him. I tugged myself into him harder so my body was pressed flat against his.
His breathing increased, but he didn’t show any other reaction.
I kissed his shoulder again then pressed my lips to his neck. I wanted to feel connected to him again. I missed having him close to me, missed sharing my body as well as my soul. But I also missed being with him. It’d only been a few weeks since Tristan last touched me, but my body craved Cane’s. I wanted him deep inside me, slow and gentle. I wanted him to ease me into it, but then to bring me to a climax a few minutes later.
I moved my lips to his ear. “Make love to me.”
Cane’s body stiffened slightly, and he stopped breathing for just an instant. My hand rested just underneath his heart, and I could feel the way it jumped, racing at a faster pace. He didn’t make a move, but he was certainly thinking about it.
“I’m ready.”
He suddenly turned over and suspended his body over mine. He looked into my eyes, his powerful body flexing as he displayed his strength.
My hands moved up his chest, and I parted my lips, waiting for a kiss.
He tugged my panties down then separated my thighs with his. He positioned himself at my entrance but didn’t push inside. Instead, he looked into my face and watched the expression in my eyes. “You’re sure you want this?”
My hands dug into his hair, and I kissed him. It was slow and soft, and I felt his gentle mouth in contrast to the coarse stubble on his face. We breathed into each other before tongues were introduced. I shifted my hips slightly, grinding against his length. “Yes.”
That was enough for him. He gripped one of my hips and tilted my body slightly so he could slip inside.