Each night we’d exchange a text or two. They were even growing friendlier as the days passed. But it always ended the same way…me asking why he wasn’t the man for me. And him not giving me an answer.
After a week, I finally decided I needed answers, and if he wasn’t going to give them to me, I’d get them somewhere else.
Chapter 35
Reese
He cooed up at me with those big chocolaty eyes that both made me melt and broke my heart. Sawyer looked just like his uncle. Well, technically, he looked like his mother. Only his mother was the spitting image of her brother. Needless to say, all three had been blessed by their gene pool.
“He’s absolutely gorgeous, Anna.”
She scooped baby Sawyer from my arms and positioned him to take a bottle. “He looks just like Chase. Let’s hope he gets his uncle’s brains and not his attitude.”
We’d met at a small Greek restaurant within walking distance from Anna and Evan’s apartment. They must have been regulars because the owner took Sawyer from Anna’s arms the minute she walked in and smothered him with kisses. The restaurant also sent over a half-dozen plates of food without our even ordering.
I’d debated whether to reach out to Sam or Anna but ultimately decided on Anna. Sam was locked up like a bank vault when it came to Chase. Between working for him and being Peyton’s best friend, her loyalty ran deep. That’s not to say Anna wasn’t extremely loyal to Chase. However, I had a feeling she’d do what she thought was best for him, no matter what—even if it meant telling a story he might not have wanted to be told.
“I hope you don’t mind my looking you up and calling.”
“Mind? Call me every day. I love this little guy, but I’m starting to talk in baby talk even to adults. I could use an excuse to get out more often, to make me get out of my sweats and wash my hair before eight at night.”
We made small talk for a while, about the baby, plans for the fall, and even some of the products Parker Industries was working on. I thought I’d have to uncomfortably bring up what I wanted to ask, but Anna beat me to it.
“Can I ask you something personal?” she said.
“Of course.”
“Did my brother do something to upset you? That’s why you’re not together anymore?”
“Yes, actually.”
“I figured. What did the idiot do?”
I deadpanned, “He broke up with me.”
She seemed genuinely shocked. “Why?”
“I have no idea. That’s part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. He broke up with me, and yet he’s sitting and guarding my apartment every night.”
Anna scrunched up her face. “What is he doing?”
I gave her the full story, although even as I told it aloud for the first time, it sounded like parts were missing. Which made me even more certain several parts were… Big parts.
When I finished, the baby had just fallen asleep, and Anna gently set him down in the stroller. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she sat back down in her seat.
“It all makes sense now.”
“What does?”
Big drops slid down her cheeks, staining her face. “He feels like he failed to keep Peyton safe, and your biggest concern is safety. He doesn’t feel worthy, but can’t let go.”
The gates opened wide after that. Anna filled me in on everything I’d been missing, from Detective Balsamo to Chase’s walnut knife, and all about Eddie in between. By the time she was done, we were both full-on crying. My heart broke for Chase. It was bad enough to have lost someone he loved, but to find out it was his knife—a knife he’d voluntarily given the man who killed her—made him feel like he’d been the cause of Peyton’s death. Like he hadn’t protected her. Oh God.
Anna and I walked with our arms linked as she pushed the carriage back to her apartment.
“Do you want to come in? Have a glass of wine?” she asked.
“I’d love to. But another day, maybe?”
She nodded. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“You won’t have to. I’m going to keep in touch whatever happens.”
We hugged each other like long-lost friends.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I need to give it some thought. It’s so much to take in right now.”
“I understand.”
“Could you…do me a favor? When you talk to your brother, don’t let him know you told me? I’m still holding out hope that he’ll tell me himself. I think I’ve just been going about it the wrong way to get him to open up.”
“Of course. I hope everything works out for you two. I really do.”
“Thank you, Anna. For everything.”
I walked away finally understanding why Chase thought he wasn’t the man for me. Now I just needed him to realize he was.