“And what do you deserve, Lucian? Whom do you answer to?”
He stood and placed his cup on the counter. “Evelyn . . .” He paced. “He touched you,” he growled,
as if that were reason enough to beat someone until they looked like a rotten piece of fruit.
“Maybe I asked him to.”
“Don’t,” he barked, angrily forking his fingers through his hair.
“Why?” She was poking a surly bear, but couldn’t help it. He was confusing her with all his sudden
concern for her well-being, and they needed a reality check. “What did you expect? For all I knew you
were never coming back. I was on my own.”
“I told you I would be back!”
She laughed derisively. “In thirty days, Lucian. What kind of assurance is that? In my book you
were gone and never coming back. You threw me away and he wanted me.”
He lunged and she backed up, his arms bracing his weight over the mattress. “He had no right to lay a finger on you. Now, unless you want me to track him down and completely emasculate him this
time, I suggest you stop taunting me.”
“Get off of me, Lucian.” The words whispered out in a perfectly calm voice altogether contrary to
her emotions hidden inside. He glanced down at their position and stood.
“I don’t want to ever hear that man’s name again.”
“That makes two of us.” His sharp gaze met hers, weighing the sincerity of her words. “Don’t look
so smug. My feelings toward you aren’t much different.”
“But there is a difference?”
Her lips twitched. He might as well know. “You were so afraid of losing me you gave me away.
Yes, Lucian, there is a difference. If only you’d realized it sooner. I tried to help you understand. What I felt for him could never measure up to what I felt for you.”
He blinked, his eyes creasing with regret. “Felt. As in past tense?”
“The feelings I have about you now are too contaminated by anger to work in your favor. The only
way I can process what you actually did, is to completely sever the future from the past. You’re a
piece of my past. But that’s it.”
“That night . . . you said you loved me.”
“I was confused,” she lied. She should have never asked him up for coffee.
He approached, lowering himself to the floor. His eyes were tormented as he turned her chin,
forcing her to meet his gaze. “I fucked up, Evelyn. I fucked up and I have no idea how to fix it. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t concentrate at work. I want you back. Tell me how to fix this and I will. I’ll do anything. I love you.”
She pulled her chin away and averted her gaze. “You can’t.”
“That word isn’t a part of my vocabulary and it isn’t a part of yours.”
Her throat worked. “I don’t know how to forgive you.”
He ducked his head to her lap, his arms wrapping around her hips and pulling her tightly to him. She
lifted her hands so as not to touch him.
“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry, Evelyn. I go over what happened last winter again and again, and I
don’t know how else I could have found you. I was scared to death for your safety. I knew the moment
I agreed to his terms I’d made a deal with the devil, but there was no way around it. Don’t you think I would’ve done anything else if I could’ve avoided this outcome?”
“You could’ve told me,” she hissed. It took everything she had not to touch him and offer him
comfort as he confessed his regrets. She clung to her anger, needing it to keep her grounded. If he’d
actually confessed what was really happening, the truth may not have hurt so much.
“I thought you would’ve agreed to marry me. If you would’ve agreed to be my wife, all bets were
off. I was shocked when you said no.”
“Is that the only reason you asked?”
He drew back. “What?”
“Did you only ask me to marry you to get out of the deal with Parker?”
“God, no. I asked you to marry me because I want you to be my wife. I still do, Evelyn.”
“You want me to be your wife, yet you sent me away and let another man seduce me.”
The muscles in his jaw locked. “You said no.”
“Oh. So for the first time in your life you decided to accept defeat without a fight. I thought can’t wasn’t part of your vocabulary.”
“You said no over a dozen times,” he said with not a little irritation ringing in his voice. “I
practically fucking begged and you still rejected me, Evelyn! What more could I have done?”
“Leveled with me. Trusted me to understand. I have to believe, if you’d taken the time to really
explain what happened last winter, I would’ve understood. But you let it go so far, Lucian. I let him
kiss me, touch me—”