I knew she didn’t like me either, though she tried to pretend for him, but I’m sure she knew I knew.
I saw the same look in her eyes that I’ve seen in countless women over time. It’s a look of jealous envy. I smirked at her even though inside I was miserable. I never thought daddy would date anyone, let alone only a year after Natalia’s death.
That night we had our first argument. I’d become so comfortable with him that I wasn’t afraid to let my feelings known, and besides, I was so mad at him I didn’t care if he didn’t want me anymore.
“What is the matter with you?”
“What’s the matter with you? It’s only been a year…”
“Dakota that’s enough. There are things going on here that you cannot understand.”
“Why because I’m stupid? I know you only want her for sex. I hate you.” I ran up the stairs and refused to return when he called me back. He barged into my room five minutes later and I refused to look at him.
“Dakota, I want you to apologize right now. And since when do you speak like that?”
“I’m not sorry.” I said it sulkily but the truth is I don’t know why I was so mad.
He had every right to go on with his life. So why did I feel like he was deserting me? The betrayal cut deep and I had no escape for the new irrational feelings that had been awakened in me.
He left the room without insisting on an apology and I felt bad two seconds after he left. I felt even worse the next morning when he was gone before breakfast.
It was the first time since he’d brought me home that we hadn’t shared that particular meal together barring a few times when he had to be in the office early.
I was miserable all day at school and couldn’t wait to get home. He never came home by my bedtime and I had to go to bed without seeing him.
Something woke me later that night, it sounded like voices. I was surprised since my room was separated from the master suite by a long hall and three bedrooms.
You couldn’t even see my room from his. I snuck to my door and placed my ear there but the sounds were still too muffled.
I sneaked open the door a bit and tiptoed halfway down the hallway. The sounds were coming from downstairs.
It was that woman. All the anger came back and I felt hate like I never did before. I walked back to my room feeling dejected.
That night I laid in bed crying my heart out and thinking what a fool I’d been. I really had no right to tell him how to live his life. I wasn’t his daughter and though the last year and a half had been magical, the reality was that he didn’t owe me anything.
The next morning he was sitting at the table when I walked in. “Morning daddy.” He didn’t answer so I figured he was still mad at me.
I kept my head lowered as I took my seat across from him and reached for the juice that cook had poured for me.
“I’m sorry I was rude.” I really meant the words. I hated that I’d hurt him and that he was mad at me.
“Apology accepted.” I felt like the sun came out from behind the clouds at the smile he gave me and the butterflies had a party in my tummy.
“How was your day yesterday baby?” I filled him in on my day and we were talking like old times. He seemed more relaxed and I felt real joy for the first time in a long time.
I was beginning to be thankful that the worse was over and he wasn’t going to kick me out for being disrespectful. And then she walked in.
I had to bite my tongue not to say what I was thinking when she walked into the room still fixing her clothes like she’d spent the night. The hurt was instantaneous and I fought back bitter tears.
I felt betrayed and abandoned and when she kissed him like she had the right I wanted to throw my eggs in her face.
She joined us at the table and reached for the juice before turning her slutty smile on me.
“Oh hi Dakota, I hope we weren’t too loud when we came in last night.”
I bet you do you bitch. “Not at all I was probably asleep by then.”
“So, Evan tells me you’re a foster kid, you’re a little old for that aren’t you?”
“Dakota is more than just a foster kid.”
“Thanks daddy.”
“Daddy, wow I guess you two are really close huh.” I didn’t bother answering her. If I tried I might unleash the anger growing inside me.
“I’ll be going now daddy I don’t wanna be late for school.” I kissed his cheek the way I always have and left without another word to her.