“It’s not easy for me. I don’t know why.”
He narrows his eyes as he looks at me. “It started making sense to me, that you feel safer if I’m unavailable. You won’t have any expectations and I won’t have any of you. But see…that’s not the way I envisioned you and I would go.”
“There is no you and I. We’ve had some close calls but—”
“There’s always been a you and I. Except only you and I know it. Only you and I know all the touches that never happened. All the kisses we never took. All the damned dances I didn’t dance with you.”
I look away, unable to fully grasp what this all means.
We end up heading to his place, and all the time I’m telling myself I can have him. He’s available, and he’s looking at me like…like he’s still interested.
“You son of a bitch! You lied to me,” I finally say when we arrive and sit down in his living room, the truth of everything hitting me.
“I let you believe what you wanted.”
“For how fucking long?”
“Two weeks. I would’ve told you sooner if I didn’t have the eerie suspicion that you like the idea of me being taken, that you feel safer around me believing I’m not making a move on you.” His eyes sparkle devilishly.
I’m shocked and already fired up by the first sentence. “Two weeks! I’ve been driving myself up the wall trying not to…”
He laughs and touches my ear. I feel tickles all over me.
“You think too much, and do too little,” he rasps.
“You do too much and think too little of the consequences.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“You. Everything blowing up in my face.”
“That’s not happening. But I want you blowing up in my face. Would you let me taste you, Bryn? Huh? If we went for it, would you let me finally taste you?”
“Christos.”
“I’ve never met a woman whose scent made me want to devour her like yours does. You confuse me, Bryn. You make me want to protect you and at the same time you make me want to break you. I want you to stop thinking and just fucking feel me. Feel this.”
He catches me by the back of his neck and puts his thumb on my mouth when we hear the doorbell.
His phone starts ringing, but he doesn’t pick up.
A minute later, a familiar blonde arrives. Christos doesn’t look up from me, his hand still on the back of my neck. “We’re busy here,” he says.
“Oh,” Miranda says.
Seeing her here makes me panic horribly, as if I’ve been caught doing something wrong. “No, I was leaving.” I stand and gather my things.
Aaric is on his feet. “Why?” he asks me.
I point at her, obviously. “You’ve got company.”
“That’s right. You.” He nods even as I turn around. “Bryn. Stay. Hey, stay.” He grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him.
“She said she was leaving,” Miranda says defensively behind my back.
“Thanks, Miranda,” he says flatly, not looking at her, only looking at me with what seems like panic in his eyes.
“Okay, I’m leaving, enjoy her, Christos, while she lasts,” Miranda says coolly.
I hear her footsteps recede, but not even then does Aaric release his grip on my shoulders.
“Why are you leaving?” he demands, his brows low.
“She was here.”
“I’m with you. We were having a good time. Why do you suppose I’d rather spend time with her than with you?” He seems vexed, his eyebrows low over his eyes, his eyes shining menacingly.
“I…”
“Why don’t you hang out with me? Why always business?” He slides one of his hands up from my shoulder to slide it under the fall of my hair.
“Because we’d do well not to confuse things.”
“Confuse the shit out of them.”
“She’s your girlfriend!”
He arches a brow.
“Your ex!”
He just stares.
“I don’t want to be all hot and bothered making out with you on your couch and some woman walks in—”
“She’s turning in her key once she finishes picking up her stuff.” He drops his hands, sighing, and I shift on my feet as he puts his hands in his pockets and stares at me from a few feet away.
I raise my eyes. My voice wavers. “I can’t do this, it’s too complicated.”
“Do you want this?” he asks.
“It’s just that the timing…”
“There’s always going to be something wrong with the timing. Or with me. Or with you. Or with some other bullshit.” He clenches his jaw, his eyes brilliantly intense as he takes another step. “I’m asking if you want this, Bryn Kelly.”
“Do you?” I croak.
“I want you more than you could possibly fathom.”
He smells so good I feel dizzy, my brain completely out of order as I go up on tiptoes and graze his lips with mine.
I realize what I’m doing and drop back down, and when I do, I’m red head to toe. “I don’t know what’s come over me.” I sit up and straighten myself.
“Whatever it is, I approve,” he rasps huskily, his eyes smiling in pure male pleasure.
Seeing my blush intensify, he cups my face and sets his nose to mine—brilliant, lustful eyes staring into my eyes. “Hey. Don’t fight it.”
“I have to. I’d be stupid not to.”
“Why?”
“Because. You…bother me, Aaric.”
“I want you, Bryn.”
I gulp and squirm in my panties.
“I still want you, little bit.”
My heart is racing harder each time he repeats those words.
“I wanted you before. That doesn’t hold a candle to the way I want you now.” He takes my shoulders, looking at me. “I’ll try to be patient. I didn’t have time before, but I do now,” he continues. “But you’re something I’ve wanted for a very long time, Bryn, and I’m only human.”
“Aaric, if things get messy, then we’re fucked.”
“They don’t have to get messy as long as we’re clear with each other and set some boundaries.”
“Like no exclusivity? No, thanks.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“The way you’ve carried on these years, I think I see more of the boy you were than there is actually left.”
“You didn’t want the boy.”
“You don’t know that,” I shoot back, angry at him putting the boy down.
“I do know that.”
“There were reasons. Mainly me. But I’d have a do-over if I could. That’s how much I regret not seeing what if I’d kissed you back that day.”
He clenches his jaw.
“But you…I just don’t know that this can go anywhere,” I say.
“It goes to my bed. You and me in it. For as long as we want to.”
“Then what?” I answer myself, “Then we remain friendly. Business partners?”
“I’m never going to be your enemy, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He strokes a hand down my hair, staring into my eyes as he adds, “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. I thought I knew what I wanted. I wanted A, but then you come back into my life. Turning things around.”
“So you wanted A, what the hell am I, Z?”
He laughs. “You’re the rest.”
He watches me pick up my things, plunging his hands into his pockets as I head to the door and glance back at him.
“Not the start, but the end,” he says.
I just smile, trying to hide the fact that my heart is skipping, and I head out for the safety of my apartment, where no tempting sex god tells me he wants me. Where the boy of my past is still a memory.
Bryn
“Don’t lick my balls, man, tell me the stats,” Christos tells Cole as they examine HOS market research.
A team of five other men and women are present. I’ve been silently watching Christos who has only been speaking to Cole throughout the meeting.