He came back down to her and pushed between her thighs, ready to impale her. Lifting his head, he stared down at her, their breath coming quickly in tandem. "You're killing me," he growled, stopping at the brink of entering her.
"It's killing me, too," she answered back, lifting her hand and running it through his hair.
"I love you," he growled, sounding none too happy about it.
"I love you, too," she snapped back, her emotions high, right before his mouth came back to hers. He kissed her hard, long, forcefully.
And then, with no warning, he lifted his mouth from hers and he stared down into her eyes. Shifting, he forced his knee between her legs, pushing it against her naked, unprotected mound. "Are you my wife?"
She breathed deeply, trying to control the runaway fever in her blood. "Yes, but--"
"No buts. It's a yes or no question. Are you my wife?"
"Nick--"
"It's a simple goddamn question, babe. Are. You. My. Wife?"
She blew out a breath. "Yes."
"And do you want to stay that way?" He breathed enraged fire over her, his words coming hot and scorching. When she remained mute, he said, "That scene at the restaurant. That was bullshit and you know it. I don't care about children. I don't give a shit about having a family. How many more times do I have to say it? What do I have to do to get that message across to you?"
He was lying, how could he not be? Courtney licked her lips and stuttered, "Maybe not . . . maybe not stare at the children you see with such a look of longing?"
His expression tightened. "Let me ask you something, babe." His hands reached for hers as he pinned them above her head. "Toddlers are cute, right? Kind of like puppies. You telling me you don't even think they're cute? You blaming me for glancing at a couple of kids?"
Holding her breath, she shook her head.
His lips flattened. "We've never really had a serious conversation about this. About why you're so scared to have kids."
Her eyes narrowed on him, swallowing as he continued to press his knee against her. "I've told you why."
Nick scorched her with a look as his hands held hers captive to the mattress. "You promised me for better or worse. I get that you think that this is a huge problem, but I'm telling you, we don't need to have children. Would you like me to prove it? I could go get a vasectomy and then there'd be nothing left to fight about."
She pushed against him, horrified at the suggestion. "Don't you dare!"
"Oh, so now what I do with my body is your choice? That hardly seems fucking fair considering you're not giving me a choice about our marriage." The angry words spilled from his mouth and then he blew out a breath, as if to calm himself. "Okay. You don't want to talk about depriving me of children. I get that." His words stopped a moment and then gentled. "You're sweet. It's why I love you." She felt her heart melt but she remained silent and he continued, "Then let's talk about having kids."
Courtney felt her eyes flare in panic. She began pushing against him and Nick's patience seemed to snap as he held her all the more tightly, possessively, protectively. "Here's the thing that you're not getting. You don't have a choice whether or not you spend the rest of your life with me. That's the part of the fucking equation that you're missing. No choice. I'm here and I'm not leaving and you're not going anywhere. You can get the goddamn idea out of your head; you're not getting your own apartment. You're not moving out." He blew out a breath and then took another. "The choice you do have is simple. Have kids or don't have kids."
At his ultimatum, Courtney wavered, her feelings divided. His words were so strong and true that she was reassured that she'd get to have him forever. Relief rushed through her; he was taking the choice away from her and she was going to let him. But still, the fact that she was the one getting what she wanted out of life didn't seem fair and she said so. "That's not fair--"
His expression became harsher. "I don't want to hear what's fair or not fair." Holding her wrists with one hand, he trailed the other down to her cheekbone and gripped her, looking into her eyes intently before he continued in a ragged tone, "What wouldn't be fair to me is living my entire godforsaken life without you. Can you not see that I'll lose my sanity if I can't have you?"
"Nick," she remonstrated softly.
"Right. You're getting it. I can see it in your eyes. So tell me, why do we have to make this choice about children now? Let's don't have kids. We'll stay protected. If you change your mind later, the option will be there."