When he looked back down, she was holding his eyes like a lifeline, and he continued, putting it all out there for her. "So be mad at me if you have to, but yeah, I orchestrated today in an effort to get you here. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable when it comes to you, I really don't. You're the only thing in the world that I'm scared of losing, of disappointing; I get cold sweats just thinking about it. So, yeah, today was planned. But it gets worse, baby, so if I'm making confessions, I might as well tell you all of it." He looked at her, hesitant to let her know exactly how screwed-up he was.
"Tell me," she whispered.
He gritted his teeth and went for it. "The last couple of months were hell for me, because we weren't together and I need so fucking badly to know you belong to me." He took a deep breath and let out the rest of his confession, hoping she wouldn't think he was insane. "I intentionally drove you across the state line because Illinois only has a twenty-four hour waiting period instead of three days, like Missouri."
After Nick told her that, her eyes flared as she swayed on her feet. If he hadn't been holding her up, she would have fallen to the ground. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I guess I was trying to hustle you into marrying me tomorrow because . . . because . . . I don't know why. I guess I'm scared shitless you're going to slip away from me or something." She still didn't answer. "I can't have that, you know? I can't take that chance."
He saw the pulse in her neck quiver. Finally, she cleared her throat and asked, "You want to get married tomorrow?"
"Yeah. More than fucking life itself."
She stared at him as if dumbstruck, finally licking her lips and asking, "And if I agree, will you . . . will you get me a ring?"
At her question, another arrow went straight through Nick's heart. "Sweetheart. I'm such a dumbfuck." He dropped his head and shook it before looking back into her sweet face. "You have no idea." He licked his lips and admitted, "It's in the glove compartment."
"There's a ring in the glove compartment?" she repeated in shock.
"I've had a one-track mind since yesterday, since we both got back into town. I've had the ring so long that truthfully, I was being selfish today, thinking of my needs, wanting to tie you to me, and not what you needed."
Without letting her loose, he walked them to the passenger door and opened it. He maneuvered her until she was sitting, with her legs outside of the car, and he opened the glove box. Reaching into the compartment, he took out a small velvet box and held it up between them. Reaching out, he stroked her hair for several long seconds while she stared at the box.
He squatted down in front of her and all but whispered, "Baby, will you do something for me?" When she nodded her head, continuing to stare at the box, he swallowed, and asked, "Will you shut your eyes and hold out your hands?"
She lifted her head and her eyes clashed with his. He saw the tears swimming there, saw her tremulous smile, and they caused an ache in his gut like he'd never felt before. She shut her eyes and with shaky fingers she held her hands out. He put the box in her hands but didn't let go; he held both the box and her hands together. "I'll always take care of you, Courtney. I swear to God, I'll be the man you want me to be. I'll be your family, I'll worship the ground you walk on." Opening the lid, Nick took the three-carat ring from the box and lifted her left hand. She held her trembling fingers wide.
"Will you marry me?"
Her eyes flooded with new tears and a hot rush of emotion clawed its way down his spine. He would take care of her. He'd treat her with kid gloves, just the way he used to before his selfish possessiveness had reared its ugly head. What the hell had he been thinking anyway? Courtney was special. She needed something from him that he was bound and determined to give to her.
As he stared down into her eyes, she whispered, "Yes."
He closed his eyes briefly in relief, and then he opened them and slipped the ring on her finger. He bent his head and kissed her finger, reverently. Swallowing hard, he asked, "You'll go inside the courthouse with me now?"
"Yes."
"And just so there's no more confusion or disagreements, we'll come back again tomorrow and get married?"
"Yes."
"We're not going to tell anyone until it's a done deal, because I don't want any delay. My mother would try to stop us . . . she'd want to throw a big wedding--"